the happy reunion between mau, jem and gwen on saturday night. went to east coast lagoon for supper and were pleasantly surprised to find out that tiger beer only costs $5.30 per bottle! and it's not the small bottle you get at clubs either. the big one!

i kept asking the beer auntie.
jem( pointing to the bottle) : na ge shi wu kuai? na ge you know. da de.











the next thing to look forward to is YUN IS COMING HOME ON THE 6TH! YAY!!

ps: yun you can view the pictures if you sign up for image station. go sign up!

"We all belong to one family.
We love and we laugh.
We hurt and we cry.
We live... and we die."
The voice of an 11 year old aids virus carrier, speaking for 'all the maligned and marginalised of the earth.'

his plight and his fate can be read in this months' issue of readers' digest. *pauses*

it takes stories like that to open my eyes to how we always take our health for granted.
unfortunately, upon reading these sorts of articles, our senses are only vulnerable for a short period. because after all, we exist in a different realm from those characters, and slowly but surely, we become blinded and priorities shift all over again.

last night, i walked out to the dining table last night and coincided with the images showing on channel news asia regarding the teenage boy drowned while fishing. his body was found and his family had to go through that standard formal procedure to identify him. standard, but heartbreaking. every parent's nightmare which unfortunately came true for this mother.

have you ever imagined yourself in that situation?

the wail of his mother was so heart wrenching, it was as though she wasnt on tv at all, but captivates you to a point where for that second you are a spectator to the exact moment. but somehow no matter how sensitive and empathising you are, or how creative your imagination is, your depth of emotions can never be a replica of those directly impacted.

yes, it's issues like that which wake you up to how lucky you are.
yet it's old knowledge that have been recited over and over again.

but as i've always said, knowledge without active application is useless.

maybe when we open our eyes, we should make and effort never to sleep again.

god bless them.

re-discovered the joy of adding photo folders to the blog.
pictures on the right hand side above the tagboard.
please enjoy and comment.

who's the active and who's the passive in a relationship? no, i'm not talking about those secondary lesbian related terms here. i mean it in its generic form. i believe and still believe that there is one partner who is more domineering than the other. can equality ever exist?

i admit i can be a pain at times. ok fine a big pain the ass. *waves white flag*
wanting my other half to give in all the time and not retaliate verbally is what i like to stress upon. because i dislike it when people argue with me, especially when i think i did no wrong.

heh. guess you all just want to slap me now huh?

well i AM trying not to be such a chauvanistic idiot, and respect individuals' opinions. after all, i remind myself that i do not want a submissive partner --that'll be horrifying. the whole relationship will be tilted to my way and that's the perfect epitome of an unhealthy relationship which will only lead to resentment and disdain.

my up-bringing was fine. only towards my latter years, i basked in my mother's love and oops. got baked! because she loves me so much, maybe too much, i forgot that ultimately i have to be responsible for how i behave.
no more expectations of being spoilt now!

but it's precisely because of that same upbringing that has led me to be protective towards my loved ones, in addition to paranoia. if i care for you, i overstep the mark of average caring and look out for you, sometimes forgetting that you have to step away to avoid suffocation.

everyone has flaws. i have mine. plenty.

such as my temper. from my exterior, i guess i look pretty much mild-mannered huh? but sometimes i get so hot that i have to fight to control it before it gets out of hand, albeit rather unsuccessful at times. :/

but hey, i see the light!
:>
see.. that's the first step to trying.

it's funny how the memory of someone isnt really who you thought he was.
weird how you can be left with that particular impression, with noone setting you straight.
until out of the blue, interesting revelations cause you to become even more disoriented than you already are.

and that full gamut of emotions that you feel, that surge of protective anger, that loss of respect which you arent sure is temporary of permanent.
everything is ephemeral. bullshit.

and then you suddenly feel ashamed of how you feel, because it just isnt right. it's almost disloyal. and no point.

conflict. dont you just hate that?

In life, there are so many stages. And i dont mean stage as in phases, but stage as in theatre stages. because there are just so many roles to play, so many faces to you.
and even if life has moved on, a sudden incident draws you back to particular scenes happening years ago.
but because you are no longer who you once were, you replay that scene as a stranger, you become one of the audience instead of the actor.
yet, what's done is done.
you cant buy back yesterday, but you can promise tomorrow.
to yourself.

we're supposed to create our garden of dreams.
it's more than a matter of finding the right seeds.
you gotta have the right tools too.

after that tiring week, i finally have the opportunity for a breather. and boy am i breathing!
:>
you know what im really forward to? MAUMAUS 'COMING HOME!
:D

bintan trip was not bad, company made it perfect. parents and gf. loved ones. what more can anyone ask for right?

had to cut short the trip by a little bit because of a family situation.

which is still taking time to sink in. which means the grief lasts longer. but then, you dont have to deal with impact.

disorientating though. everything happened a bit too fast.

first, it was work and all the stupid admin i had to deal with on saturday plus sunday.
next, bintan. which was fun. but all the sea sports and everything made my thighs and arms ache like hell. my muscles are senior citizens. yea, not even middle age.
and darling, i am genuinely sorry i gave you that big,-no hug- no enormous-no dinosaurish-ous. bruise.
dinosaurish. the big kind. t-rex. diplosaurus kind.
it was that big.
*sheepish*

and then it was waking at 730 to catch the 930 ferry. all the rushing about to check out and change our bookings.

and then it was po po's funeral.
which we stayed over. but last night at abt 4am, i really could not tahan, and so i went to sleep. but, no bed. only the playground slide. so there i crashed for 2 hours.

my grandma was really a lovely lady.
on the streets, you may have met some nice old lady which makes you smile.
well, maybe it's my po po? :>

prayers and thoughts are very much appreciated.

i'm so exhausted.

and no, not cause ive been too busy playing.

sigh. i have to work tmr. it's sunday! what happened to thou shalt not work on sabbath day and all that.
well, that's the worse of working in a music school. for every leave or mc you take, you have to return the lesson.

and to top it off, my air con is not workin properly.
and to have a malfunctioning air conditioner in this humid weather... sigh well i dont even need to describe it do i?
(lucky you zen!)

on the brightest note,
duey is fine. YAY!!!
i think it was some 24-hour bug (is there such a thing for rabbits?)
anyway, he's back to his nonsense. but for once i welcome it.

it's time to zzzzzzzzzzzzz

once a rabbit gets sick, it's difficult for them to recover.

and duey is sick.

please please please God make him well again.

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

i promise to watch his diet and stop feeding him so much snacks. i'm no expert, but so far from the websites i read up on, it seems to be a condition of obesity, leading to loss of appeitite and lethargy.

symtoms that duey is having, and frightening the shit out of me.

i'm sorry. i will limit your cheeseballs and hoops. it was only because you looked so cute when you get excited and start dashing about the minute you hear the rustle of the packet. and the way you devour it.
but if only you'll get well, i'll look for other alternatives. healthy alternatives!

please just get well.

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

God knows how much i love you.
God please look after this vulnerable little rabbit and let him hop madly once again.

I was involved in a hit and run accident and i was the victim!

ok i see all my ardent fans' --oops.. typo. i meant concerned friends'(heh)-- mouths dropping open.
quick close them before the flies fly in.

anyway, no need to faint with worry for me. no broken bones, no scratches, grazes nothing.
and for a good reason, cause i didnt get hit.

hehe.

BUT MY CAR DID!

ok so it's not my car but we're not dealing with the technicalities here.

my car was parked, at the carpark. (duh!)

and the next morning...... my left headlight was crooked, my bumper was scratched.. and my left fender was sticking out!!! and it was DENTED! (is there such a word? ok whatever there was a dent!)
it was my turn for my mouth to drop open and allow flies in.

i was bordering between hysteria and .... i dont know. indignance?

sigh. thank goodness cher darling was around to calm me down though i bet inwardly she was just as incredulous as i was. *sheepish grin* thank goodness there's one of us to be level headed.

sent it to the car mechanic where they did a marvellous job! and it costs me $70. which i gladly paid up because i actually thought it was going to cost me a few hundred.
the uncle (or big brother cause he seems quite young) was really helpful.

but i can think of many ways where i can spend $70.
sigh. well.
nevermind. karma karma.

i have no fate with nissan sunny. or no destiny's either.
and they really drink petrol.

let's talk about something really exciting.

MY EXAMS ARE OVER!
I CAN FLY!

:D

(ps zen yes we can twinkle soon but come thumpering with us!)

last night was my schoolmate Michelle's wedding at Shangri-la.
*wistful sigh* makes me want to get married too!

i'll try to make enough money to fly you guys to attend my overseas wedding ok? heh.

pictures will be up soon!

after the wedding, the group of us, dressed in dresses and shirts and dinner jackets headed down to Wala's. Felt so overdressed!
Anyway, yesterday was a really great night! it was what all of us needed after the exams.

anyway, cher and i booked a hotel room at hotel windsor where it surpassed my expectations. it was actually quite nice! beds were comfortable, it wasnt old and derelict or anything. far from it.
the prices are $170/night but if you book through the internet you can get it for $70.

i love you cher!

things to look forward to:

1. thumpering tmr. i dont know why either actually. probably cause i feel like i can club without worrying abt ANYTHING.
2. BINTAN! with my parents and cher. yay!
3. cheeky monkeys. hwahhaa. because the cheeky monkeys want to see how it looks like. (yes pooja and harnie i'm talking abt YOU! and pooja i know ure reading this so u better tag me. ;p)

i'm in need of a break. all the exams, plus work, plus all the rushing abt.

*yawn*

I think I'm going......

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

(haha sorry wannabe madagascar)

you see, all relationships are like plants.

you have your family rel, love rel, social rel, and platonic rels.

many different plants in your garden of life. each with their own unique beautiful colourings.

but similiar to all other literal plants, tender care must be nourished upon it for it to blossom.

what if you have a sickly plant?
you pay more attention to it right?

if the plant is sickly, plant flowers by all means. it perks it up.
but flowers, with sickly roots, cannot be used to its maximum.
which is a pity.

flowers and leaves should be well looked after, granted.
but roots are the most important of all.

and you know what's the best thing?
with these type of plants, their lifespan is as long as yours.

it's freaking 9, and my law of trusts paper is at 10.
and trust me, this is going to be baddddd. heh. i should just stop doing this right.

and yes yes once again, why am i here blogging away when i could be cramming since every last minute work helps.

i TOLD you.. i have become woolly brained!

i am going shopping after the paper.
therapy!

then it's another stay-up-late-wake-up-early session for my last paper tmr.

tt's good. because i am on the verge of going wolly-brained permanently.