last evening, i was suddenly gripped by fear of the fragility of life. yet to embrace life, ironically one cannot always remind ourselves how vulnerable we are on this earth for obvious practical reasons. call it paranoia, or whatever you wish, but it was too real to ignore.

so i feel like some of my waking life revolves unheathily around the dreams that come at night. they say dreams are subconscious desires and i think that's going to be an eternal debate.
i think dreams are actually subsconscious closures to our desires.
for some, it may pave out a promise of new beginnings. to me, perhaps it's just saying goodbye to memories.

in

to previous post, the restaurant is at Holland V and they have another outlet at Robertson Quay.

for those who arent updated yet, M1 has upgraded their 'talk all you can ' plan. for $201. something cents, you can really literally talk all you can because incoming plus outgoing is absolutely FREE. plus you get an annual $500/- phone voucher too. whee!

last night, i dreamt my VIPs and I became part time taxi drivers. cant really details, only one part A was stationed in Aljunied and C was stationed in Cantonment. see, even in my dreams i was so organised. hur.

new office updates! when we first 'booked' it, we agreed we only require minimal renovation. guess what? walls were hacked, glass entrance removed, carpets removed, lightings removed. my new office looks like a miserable run down empty hollow space now.

and get this. it's still considered minimal because we didnt touch the pantry and toilet and conference room. budget budget.

cant wait for the remaining parts to evolve though!

it's a lazy afternoon. thought of east coast cycling but sky doenst seem to be in favour. oh well the poor dog cant go running. you know, i really do love charcoal. but it's really not funny sometimes because that dog is packed with muscles and she's not small! when she runs, i swear my arm comes out of its socket.

RE: See above pictures.

random rambles. i like. time for a snooze, the rain has just begun pelting down!

biting remarks! or not.

did not have any particular cusine in mind, but decided to give arubiya japanese charcoal grill a go because the waiter at the entrance impressed me with his vast product knowledge and was quick to point out other alternatives when we voiced out something that we did not really fancy.
and it was great! I had the lamb and fried rice ( generous portion it was too ), we also ordered pork and foie gras although the latter isnt really my thing. simpleton i am, not appreciative of the finer dinings in life. :)
anyway, that isnt the reason for my reason to blog about my eating experience this evening.
after dinner, it was raining cats and dogs and elephants and giraffes, so basically yl and i were stuck. but before any annoyance could set in, the manager of the restaurant offered us her waiter plus umbrellas to take us to our car! that absolutely deserved thumbs up, because it was non obligatory. going that extra mile definitely brings the smiles! and what i noticed too was the manager thanking the waiter too. you know it's nice to have a boss who appreciates the actions of her employee.
on first glance, they didnt look as though their service or food was superior to any other restaurant, so i'm glad they and us took the extra step for mutual benefit.

ive been reading a series of blogs, and many speak of a loved one lost. and though i'm happy and in love myself, all i can say, the truth hurts even more than losing.
and what's the truth? if you dont play it right, the game doesnt go on forever.
learn to recognise the classic signs of change.
he just doesnt seem that into you anymore. he is less patient.
2 simple things for a potential destruction.
but it takes 2 hands always. were you too clingy? too intense?
dramatics doesnt take you anywhere, and it pushes everyone else away.
'but i was nice and loving'
i call that self scarificing. a matyr scares people away too, cause we're all sinners.

but love isnt supposed to be a game. well, neither was life supposed to be.
but everything, love and life, is a gamble. if you staked your bets knowing the possible consequences, you got to have the responsibility to see it through.

if not, just declare yourself a spinster for the rest of your life if you dont have the spirituality to declare yourself a nun.

YL's cat! I think pets look so much cuter when they are asleep.

Anyway, it's been a couple of busy weeks. Sourced and found an office space, still silently ( though not so silently now ) wanting for a bar counter in our room. Let's hope we can find space in our budget for it, although you know what they say, budgets are meant to be stretched. ;) life is definitely picking up, i'm contented.

ive been dreaming of her recently. i rarely miss her when i'm conscious, so this must be an act on my subconscious's part. i suppose dreams are a way of reminding us, although it isnt always as gentle as we are able to cope with. i think it's funny, how life works out for us.

i guess a heart can be broken, but not so broken till it cant be fixed.

if crossing my fingers mean you will keep your promise, then it will remain entwined forever.

can something you see coming still seem unexpected?
but it's ok, i bid goodbye to a stable monthly pay, where it is fixed no matter the effort you put in. and i open my arms in welcome to the new world of discipline and hard work.
the aftershock is over, now the aftermath sets in.

i think the most fun of it, is the search for a new office. yay! brain has been idle too long.
and of course, i never have to answer to anyone but myself again. all previous work experiences has taught me to learn more about myself and who i am. definitely not a follower.
at the risk of sounding like a spoilt teenage child, i think it's just the inner rebellion in me who refuses to knuckle under anyone, and always has the tendancies to throw up my 3rd finger at higher authorities who force me to conform.
then again, maybe i still AM a spoilt teenage child. ;)

but that's fine too.

everybody put your feet up on the table, arms behind your head, and say with me,'being your own boss is gooood'.

support support!!

10,000 B.C yesterday evening.
the grandeur of the movie was on the lower end of the scale, probably because we have been accustomed to the theatre magnificence of other movies such as lord of the rings so this one pales in comparison. but the ancient creatures were really in detail, to the skinny mammoths who were being forced to do the menial work of the oppressing people. you could see their skeletal outline! i thought that was a nice touch. i was a bit disappointed with the sabre tooth tiger, or spear toothed, few minutes of fame. i thought he was going to be one of the main highlights in the show. the ending was a little laughable, because the defeat looked too easy, but maybe that was on purpose to show us how vulnerable and weak the stupid king really is.
i did enjoy the show, it captured the journey of boy to man well, and also how important comaderie between the tribes are, not to mention how fascinating their tribal wear are. ( i was going to say costumes, but then they might have taken offence. what do you call those pieces of loin cloth and regal-like headgear anyway?)

PS i love you
maybe because i have already read the book, and voted it to be on one of those 'dont-read-this-book-if-you-dont-wanna-cry' list, and trust me, i dont tear when it comes to books, unless of course, when marley died.
anyway, the chemistry between 2 of them, or 3 of them, or 4 of them in fact, hmm, well there was hardly any chemistry! maybe it was deliberate for 1 of them since the relationship didnt work out anyway, but the others who supposedly carry that potential?
boo hoo.

meet the spartans.
you know, i had such high hopes for this. it was an evening show, and i was tired. and you know how laughter is the best medicine and everything? i was sooo looking forward to it, and halfway during the show, i had use the washroom, and get this. i wasnt even hurrying to finish doing my business because it was no loss at all. big loss, tiny loss, NO LOSS.
from start to finish, it was just dumb and dumber. far cry from the very first scary movie.
well, the spartans are those people you went to meet for dinner, and had to suffer through an uncooked chicken meal accompanied by disgusting company, until you almost die in the end.
meet the spartans.. wish i never met them in my life.

you cant promise a child something, disappoint him, then hand out sweets by the dozen hoping that would stop the wailing and the tears.
once you make a promise, you should see it through, but if you cant, you should feel the child's pain as your own, and bear the weight of guilt.
no amount of sweets can make up for dashed hopes or broken promises, only a resolve to not make the mistake again with sincerity can make amends.
if you were not confident, you should have kept your mouth shut. if it's said on a whim, that's even worse.

and you know what? this doesnt only apply to kids.

sometimes we make choices that others dont understand. but the parody of life is such that for every right decision you make, it will be a wrong one too. there is no perfect satisfaction, and one must learn how to accept that such is the irony.
there are moments that we appear kinder, or cruller. it doesnt make us more human, or any less human. these conflicting actions, only make us human.