You werent there when it all happened. It's all very well for u to sit and make your scathing judgements, but where were u when I needed u most? It was not ur fault, but neither was it mine.
It all happened so many years ago. It's almost like u came back from the dead. U disappeared for years,I had no news. I picked up the pieces on my own.
Did u even stop to think about how difficult it was for me ?
For once I experienced pure unadulterated happiness. The first girl I knew what it meant to give 100percent.
It was all taken away like that.
U listened to everyone's stories and opinions. I was the one u loved, how come u never stopped to consider mine? U said I let u down, but I proved in actions so much more than u realized. And what did I get in return? Hatred and anger and betrayal.
Yes now I finally understand how u felt, cause u r making me feel it too.

U r not the only one who got hurt.

Song: -you always thought that I was stronger, I may have failed but I loved you from the start -

Sometimes I think about the people whom I lost. And you realize the ache does return when you do.
Out of sight, out of mind.

The grieving process does end, it's never permanent.

You learn to live without that person, simply because its loss has become a part of you. And there isn't anything left to do.

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God advocates forgiveness therefore I shall too. But please give me guidance and strength for this, for how much I need it now.

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From the words if a wise one 'everything will turn out right in e end. If it's not right, it means it's not e end yet'
How profound and comforting.

It's funny and sad how certain recent events have panned out. Only serving to remind me that I am far from experienced, my naivety and gullibility has almost shocked and jolted me a little more awake. People whom I placed my trust in easily, people whom I barely know but assumed their character is such, have shown colours which made me despondent and also a little sad .

I look back at how I behaved before and wonder what or who changed me. And I wonder what or who might change me further.

I guess we can only place our lives in god .

It was just yesterday that I said to my friend that u r someone I can rely on to bail me out , but today I'm not so sure anymore. I'm not proud of who I was if who I am, so I guess I can't judge u but I'm only human and right now, I want to feel a certain loathing for u but I'm just sad .

Maybe it's karma destiny of fate. But I guess now it doesn't matter much anymore.

And u, I wish I could say so much to u. Our whole past, I'm beginning to feel, was based on childhood illusions and well, puppies and kittens and all things nice. But I have given my rights up long ago, so I must make my bed and lie in it .

And u, I deserve better and I hope one day u will act upon this truth. Saying and believing it is not enough to make something last.

And u, u suck. U hurt my friend and your reasons will never be good enough for me. In Chinese , ' no shi qian ta de' I hope u get over ur issues. Life is not supposed to be so hard.

And dear god, please look after all of us. I think we need you and your guidance .

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