for every right decision made, it is also a wrong one for someone else.
although you answer only to yourself, other people will get demand one too. but in the end, sucks to them then. if you stand by what you did, then too bad for them right?

full marks for me for the theory. now all i need is to do the convincing. as far as i am concerned, i think that's the hardest part.

sometimes when i envision what lies ahead, i feel excited yet i want to barf at the same time.
mixed emotions, man this is the epitome of it.

sometimes i badly want to whinge, but then i compare myself to others-- everything is relative -- and i really feel ashamed. yet i want to continue to be childish and say stuff like i am only human i have a right to feel this this this. but you know what?
just because we have a right, does not mean we should abuse it.

suddenly i feel myself grow up a little.

but i'm glad i am on the current path i am now. i have everything to be thankful for.

because i think i have it all. dont we all?

sure, i would like to have more money. haha
but yeah will spare you the crap about we have health, family etc etc.
ok not crap. i didnt mean that i just used that word because that line is so overrated.

but everything as in. yeah. everything.

how do u define contentment.

sometimes i think i lead myselfup for disappointments. i shld learn that there is a time where u do have to be pessimistic.

last night, yl and i saw a dog get run over by a car.

you know, perhaps i can even try to understand if an accident was unavoidable as it was the main road and perhaps the dog darted out of nowhere.
BUT U DIDNT EVEN STOP!
what kind of person hits a dog and not bother to stop to check if it's ok. HOW COULD U LEAVE IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAWD DAMN ROAD!

sometimes i love yl sooo much. she dashed out to the road to pick the dog up. i was almost scared witless at the oncoming headlights but i had to dash out with her to play traffic police for a while.

when she picked the dog up, she dog let out a gasp. which at that point, i thought he was just trying to grasp for air.

but after the spca came, i realised i have just witness its last breath.

i kinda had this vague idea that the dog died. my it didnt sink in till the people came to take it away. hell i was like thinking up names for the dog already because i was holding out for a miracle.


:'(

i dont want any jupiter or bach anymore.

last night, i dreamt i embarked on a voyage in search of an ancient indian delicacy.
an empty stomach fills the head with creative images.

---
i sat on the bench and watched the world go walking by. back then as teenagers, we did so much people watching. that's exactly what it is, people watch. not so much of a sport, more of idle hanging out.

i just think it's amazing that we are all masters of our own world, all living lives, but to each other as strangers, we're so tiny in the grander scheme of things.

i had an epiphany today.

so last time, they were right, and i was wrong. and sometimes you have to behave like a bad guy, or be the bad guy, just to get everything running smoothly.

for the greater good. i think i finally understand what it means.

i think back, and i'm ashamed of my stubbornness,my hot headedness, leading to a chain of events which could have been avoided in which i blamed everyone but myself.

i accept responsibility now, so i matured over it. but the deeds are done.

i realise you cant live in your own little bubble of a world, because one day, it's going to burst.
and it's selfish too.

i wish i could say i would have done many things different, but i refuse to. because one thing leads to another, and i wouldnt have it any other way now.

but another epiphany, sometimes we really are selfish little pricks.

each and every damn single one of us.

but forgive me, it was never my calling to be a saint.

up/down dates

so the room is getting a fresh coat of paint.
dele and joey, remember back in jc days when you helped me paint my room blue? say sayonara to it!
i got a professional painter this time, after the *cringe * memories of the last pain(t) job which was fairly.. artistic. ;)