i guess sometimes an idea grows on you. was not keen to go to bangkok, but since there is almost a party of 10 going, i guess we're looking at some pretty fun nights even if the day is too hot and too much walking.
so im starting to look forward to April.

and VIPS, are we doing the Batam thing in march? i'm looking forward to the weekend getaway.

the dragon and i have not decided where to go for the holiday, but let's cross our fingers for natas to assist us. in the meantime, i welcome more ideas!

criteria: just somewhere that isnt too hot. i dont want to carry my umbrella everywhere i go. ;)

when a temper snaps, sometimes it's not the only thing that snaps too.
some things become broken, and if you're unlucky ( although i dont know if luck has anything to do with it), some of the pieces become lost forever, and it's not whole anymore.
and some people spend a lifetime searching for the missing pieces they have lost in a moment of folly.

from the song that started it all to weird conversations on an afternoon msn.

perhaps they are only gd at brief encounters,cause maybe if they get together
maybe they will realise chemistry can't get them through a relationship.
but the day they met will remain a memory they subconsciously seek, a feeling that will never go away.
but it can only be beautiful because it was brief.

arg. i hate ephemeral stuff. isnt there anything in this world that would leave more than permanent imprints, but something tangible and even more valuable?

but yes, dont we all have that someone?

so i'm rather cross-eyed from staring at the terminal for almost 4 hours straight, and a good 3 of them were spent working. yes, this spurt lasted longer than its usual 20mins.

i am quite proud of my beautiful work ( quoted by yl:' ' i never knew anyone who called their own work beautiful' , and my reply is well you've met one baby. :S
but back to the subject, i dont like my mind to be too sluggish, although what i just did doesnt exactly involve the biggest brains and there was much side tracking chatting with stupid kel who started her work later BUT finished earlier. i still cant comprehend the justice behind that.
and i deactivated my facebook account. because i cant seem to fit into this facebook world with the pokes and the i dunno what have you.
:(
and to think i used to gamble my neopet points away only to play the word games to get even more and to splurge it even further. gambler's mentality. not good. virtual money.
one should be thankful for little blessings.

the dragon and i went to chan brothers the other day to check out some holidays. accordingly, it's supposed to be my birthday present. everyone say YAY!
since it's for my birthday, obviously we were looking at the tours in september but the prices were not out yet hence no booking could be made.
but even so, we couldnt decide.
i was rather keen on NZ but the prices were so high! apparently there is only a single air company ( is that what you call it ) that flies to NZ so you know monopoly monopolises the market, demand supply etc etc etc = go there when i am richer.

debating on japan but i dont know how to appreciate japan culture yet.
was a little swayed on vegas but read the above on gambler's mentality.

anyone care to share their ideas? somewhere around Sep, where the weather is cool.
looks like we're left with Europe. ( wahaha is this deliberate or what?) she is quite interested in Greece, ( i think it's greece ) but no shopping there. :S

decisions decisions. im crossing my fingers that a trip will actually suffice. cross with me everyone.

anyway yl says ive been reading too many jodie books and im inclined to believe her because ive been having weird dreams. that reminds me i need to go check the dream dictionary.
anyway the other day i fused reality and dreams together and for quite a long moment i couldnt differentiate between the two and i accused yl of going to play darts and i was so fierce about it too. imagine the embarrassment if i wasnt actually so traumatized about her playing darts.

Anyway, i dreamt that i was going down a snow slope but halfway through it became a tunnel filled with ghostly voices but throughout it all i kept calm ( which i am very proud of myself for) and at the end of the tunnel, i was at the side of the snow slope but try as i might i didnt have the strength to pull myself up. so it was either i get stuck there, or walk down a fleet of steps into another dark tunnel.

ok hang on. * clicks on dream dictionary *
verdict!
To see a tunnel in your dream, represents the vagina, womb, and birth. Thus it may refer to a need for security and nurturance.
To dream that you are going through a tunnel, suggests that you are exploring aspects of your unconscious. You are opening yourself to a brand new awareness. Alternatively, it indicates your limited perspective.
To see the light at the end of a tunnel, symbolizes hope. It may also indicate the end of your journey or goals.

does snow equate to light? anyway, a need for security and nurturance!? :S HMMM. either way doesnt sound good. but what can you expect from tunnels and ghosts huh?

ok next one.
i dreamt i was playing netball with some friends and i was going through great lengths and making many great jumps and catches ( to which i am also very proud of myself for ) to prevent the ball from falling. When i paused to catch my breath with the ball in my hand, i realised it was actually a puppy.

ok let's do more clicking.
verdict.
To see a puppy in your dream, symbolizes your playfulness and carefree nature. It also represents a blossoming friendship or that your friendships will grow stronger.

woohoo. VIPS READ THIS.
we should play more taboo i bet all of you wanna be on MY team now. :)

you know how Chinese believe that if you see numbesr in your dreams you should buy 4d?
well i always dream of numbers but never bothered checking or buying. until one day it came out 1st price.
:O
i started buying for all the numbers i dream but you know what they say, God is fair.
but being optimistic sways your world so 4d here i come.

fingers curling, stroking the palm at first, then gradually getting a firmer hold.
it was as though, if u assumed a punching postion, one can actually fight the feeling.

we turn 6 months today. :)

each time i had nightmares, the dragon always chased it away. but last night i had a nightmare, and instead of cuddling up to a dragon, i cuddled the rabbit.

dragons and rabbits. both good. :)

footprints in your life, some are firmly inprinted in the rocks, never to be erased. and some, at the edge of the sea, where the tides vanish them. and some, just in the sand, out of reach from the pull and calling of the wild seas. and there they can remain, until someone comes along to brush them away, or you trample all over them yourself.

i think my purpose for meeting her, i think, she taught me how uncomplicated love should be. but ironically, it's because of this lesson, showed me how complicated it actually is. she showed me a kind of happiness that one only has the blessing to receive once. but it doesnt mean one cant be happy anymore, it's just a different kind, but its essence remain the same. i understood what it meant to be grateful for little things, because the way she left could have been more ominous, one that would break the heart a lot more. and because of her, i evolved into someone i thought i never would become.
i got tired of a lot of things, even now, the exhaustion, though not outwardly evident, is still an inner struggle everyday.

and i think, my purpose for meeting her, was life showing me what sort of person i can become, and bringing out a certain potential in me. because of her, i closed a chapter, one that had its pages brutally torn off, with sentences uncompleted, but i still closed it. she taught me, not by verbal lessons, or even by her actions. it was just her presence, being with her, that showed me how different love can be, and each is as great as each other. realistically, with her distraction, it was easier to look forward. and one day, i decided, i want to move along to wherever with her. i understood how you can be lost, and part of you gets left behind, but someone will see something in you that can give you direction again.

people do great things in your life. and sometimes words arent just enough to thank them, or to explain how it affected you. the way life goes, sometimes you just let the wind carry to you, either to turbulent times, or to calm waters. but god will carry you to safety.

why live dangerously anymore? i'm settled. i'm done with that whole part of my life.

faith is one thing. but faith in another, when she's not around to affirm it, is a whole different notion altogether. these few days, ive been wondering. when you are being questioned, have we reached that stage that the flame of faith is unwaverable, knowing that courage is drawn from this very fact, to give us strength not to cave in.my flame for you does not flicker at all, but how about you towards me. this uncertainty, is hard to live with. because it just makes everything we had a facade.

and i think it's funny, how a random innocent question from someone sets off at trail of insecurity, which sets off so suddenly, it pierced you right where your lowered the armour.

so ive got hold the fort for a week but this one wants the dragon to return!

it's been some time since i uploaded a pic of duey. but here's one! i just figured how to send pics from my phone to my laptop. the little furball slept through my vacuuming while spring cleaning today. could not resist a snap to share.

ever experienced those sudden urges where you really feel like speaking to a particular person? but of course sod's law come into place, when you really want something, it's not given to you.
divine intervention. some things are really out of your hands.

you can wake up one day, and realise you are not the person you used to be anymore.
but the ghosts of your past comes back to haunt you.
sometimes you wish you can do some things a little differently, handled it a little better.
who were you and who are you? and does it even really matter.
changes. you gotta adapt.
but growing up , growing pains.

i went to the zoo , zoo, zoo
funny moment:

*dropped her sunnies onto the ground by accident, headed to water cooler to rinse it off. Note: Water was icy cold'

her to me: Jamie look! ive got cool shades!

:S
cold joke. haha
but it was funny.

you can say, monday is judgement day. because there awaits my fate.

which is sad?
too angry to contain.
too resigned, indifferent.

i think it's the latter.