Jem's Update

I feel like I havent been home for a really long time.

Friday: Had dinner at Nooch.. went down to Cheryl's house for her to get changed and for us to get high on alcohol before heading down to Monks! Which turned out to be fun and disastrious. Hmm yup that's right. Kinda weird huh, 2 extremes but that was exactly what it is.OH well..hopefully everything will turn out fine. I believe in us... Reached home at 6 and had to be up by 830.. and during that brief 2 odd hour rest I had a nightmare!

Saturday: Asian Aerospace day! The sun was blazing and that is a major understatement. I resemble an inverted panda due to the tan lines from my sunnies! And they are very very obvious and that is another major understatement. ha.. The display was interesting.. the pics are on my blog courtesy of Jo! Thanks! And tell Jon that his photography is really not bad!
Went down to Chinablack after everything to give Cheryl support on her first day of work! Although it isnt exactly her first time working there... but ah well. So .. that was another late night.
Met my classmate Alexis while waiting for Cheryl after the club closed and we had a really good talk about a lot of things.. and opened my eyes to a lot of things. Sigh. Although she may never read this but I think she's a really strong person... my respects to her.
OH!! and you know what? I was walking down orchard towers alone back to Chinablack(went to meet a friend there for a while) and guess what!! This ang moh guy came up to me..rubbing shoulders with me and said $100 bucks? And I was like huh? I reallly didnt get it. Until later on I realised where I was and realised he was asking for.... ahem!!!! Gee.... 100 bucks? Sorry dude I'm kinda priceless. haha

Sunday: A lazy day... quality time.. very nice. And finally... at 930.. I am HOME. Home sweet home.... It's zzzz time.. I need it.... but no.. I have to go to my theory homework. Ah......

Ok.. my first attempt in preaching.

Jem's Guide. 5 little ways of life.....

1. Remember the sunshine when facing a storm, or when the dark clouds seem never ending. You came this far, and you survived all past hurt. You can survive once more. Keep your chin up.
2. Things have a funny way of working out. Valerie was the one who told me this. And strangely, she's right.
3. Always be the best person you can be.Or try to anyway. Pause for a moment before you tell a lie, bitch about someone, or just being mean. Try a little kindness every now and then. And sometimes it doesnt hurt to smile at a stranger. take the time to ask a long lost acquaintace how everything is. Little things like that go a long way, and trust me, it makes you go all warm and fuzzy inside.
4. Pray. Have a relationship with Him. Cause when no one seems to listen, you'll know that He's always there beside you.
5. "We're all sleeping underneath the same big sky.."No matter how different we seem, we're all united under the same blue sheet. And it's comforting to know that no matter how far apart someone seems, she isnt that far away after all....

Here's a little joke for all! Raine this is for you dont stress k!

A pony walks into a bar and says "Bartender, may I have a drink?"
Bartender says "What? I can't hear you. Speak up!"
"May I please have a drink?"
"What? You have to speak up!"
"Could I please have a drink?"
"Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you."
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse."

Life is not a race, so take it slower,
hear the music before the song is over...

There is a melody out there, a sweet melody of life playing, if only we pause for a breather from the hectic lives to properly hear it. But most of the times, we breeze through it.

Even me.

It's like how you have your radio on, or your cd player on when you're at home. Just listening with half a ear.

But life's song isnt just any song. When you only hear, you miss out. Maybe when we start to listen, we'll understand everything better..

It's scary, how we get caught up in the most materialistic of things, or datelines and shedules, to the extent that we forget the people we are, and our purpose, and get our priorities screwed. Even more scary is when we unknowingly hurt others in the process of doing so. We rush through things, we never really stop to ask if a simple 'how are you', or stop of a smile and a please and thank you. I guess stress is a good excuse, but not really a good reason dont you think so....? But maybe it's understandable. Maybe I just dont have the same drive as others have to really empathise. Hmm. Now that's a thought.
I'll hold my candle higher, and then
Perhaps I'll see the hearts of men...

Jem's Update
Hmm... let's see.. examinations coming up.. and as usual.. I dont think I have much to elaborate. Study week for me always turns out to be some sort of holiday. But I'll have to study. I'll just absolutely have to.
But I'm more worried about my theory exam coming up.. my Grade 6 theory! haha it's only grade 6.. but seriously, I think I may fail. And not for lack of trying. It's just that I last took my theory Grade 5 when I was hm... 11? so it's been like 8 over years and suddenly you ask me to do theory again it just kinda doesnt go hand in hand with me. :(

Other than that...

Social life wise... hmm.. my friends let's meet soon. Monday's meeting went....hmm..not good not bad I guess. Let's go for some real fun! Woohoo.. Crys! Beach outing !!

Love life wise.... :) Just a smile. No comments. Just a smile....

Things I reallllllly wanna do
1. Swim with the dolphins at dolphin lagoon
2. Have tea with Ah Meng! Dont ask why! I just want to!
3. Try wakeboarding. Joeybro!!!~~~!! haha
4. Go on a holiday.... A nice beachy holiday. Bro let's do the Bintan thing this hols!

Life can only be understood backwards,
but lived forwards.

Man is the only varmint that sets its own trap, baits it, then steps right into it. Isnt it true? Many of our mistakes are self made, but too often, we blame ourselves too much and focus too much on our guilt, failing to realize that it is through out mistakes that we gain in experience, and grow. And growing is the most important step of all.
Resilience- when are able to recover from situations that stretch and test our full gamut of emotions. Have you ever felt that you were going to snap? That you cant take it any longer? Look at yourself now. You have survived it. And you learnt from it, and can continue to learn.

God Said, No
By: Author Unknown

I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
Her spirit is whole,
her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations,
it isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings,
Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me suffering.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
God said...
Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

To all.. keep this in mind all the time
I may never see tomorrow; there's no written guarantee
And things that happened yesterday belong to history.
I cannot predict the future, I cannot change the past,
I have just the present moments, I must treat it as my last.

20th Feb was a special day. A very special day.

You've got to sing like you don't need the money, love like you'll never get hurt. You've got to dance like no one is watching. It's gotta come from the heart, if you want it to work. Susannah Clark

We're too caught up in our pride to fully let down our guard to understand the true meaning of enjoyment. Blame it on humanity? That putting down our shield is almost equivalent to exposing ourself to the grievances that so many have experienced. But that's life isnt it? If we're gonna be so afraid all the time, we'll never know what true emotion is.
Love like you'll never get hurt.. and love like you've never been hurt. If we remember the past, or worry about the future, we forget today, and can't fully relish the presence of each other. So, my friends, treasure time, and learn to open up a little ok?

A prayer

Dear God,
I thank you for my family, and pray that Mummy will remain in good health cause she's been really busy late with her airshow coming up, and being surrounded by germs by her perpetually coughing daughter.
I thank you for my friends, and pray that Monday will be the significant turning point in our friendship where we take a step in understanding and communicating, and pray that this in turn will strengthen the friendship for many years to come. I really do want to see them get married one day. ;p
I pray for Joey and Cheryl, that their competition tmr will be a blast! Please watch over them, that they may have no injuries, and pray for Cheryl to be fit enough after her illness.
I pray for Audrey and Jo, exams are coming up, for the motivation to study study study!
I pray for the friends whom I havent seen for some time... such as Zen! (psI miss you!) and all other old friends and acquaintances.
Lastly, I pray for everyone in the world, friends and strangers, that You may watch over them and pray that they'll be happy and at peace.
Thank you God.
Amen.

To Zen: Hey cool... glad that you found what you wanted to do! So when are you starting and stuff?

ACQUAINTED WITH THE NIGHTby Robert Frost

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain -- and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
O luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night

She walked and walked and walked, the endless trudging down dark corridors. She trips, she falls, but she gets up.. and she walks and she walks and she walks. It's an endless journey, seeking for the light. The darkness frowns at her, she cowers in the shadows. But she continues her ceaseless steps. And one day, she'll get there. One day, everything will be alright. One day, she'll fear no more.

Fear.... I laugh in the face of fear. Yup. One day.

Mindless ramblings of Jem.

Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world.
Annie Lennox
The next time you do an act of kindness for someone, don't accept their thank yous, instead, tell them to pass it on, and pray by faith that they have it in them to keep this chain of kindness going.

You're in bad shape when your emotions force you into acts which you know are foolish." Robert A Heinlein
I acknowledge that there are many important issues in our lives, such as school work and examinations, other commitments, but if stress changes us into the type of person that isnt exactly very favourable, it is time for us to examine our proirities. Too often, we are too focused on searching for the thorns that we forget to smell the fragrance that is in front of us. At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves what are the things that matter the most.
And dont take anyone for granted, for at that end of the day, the one that you thought was there all along may have been lost somewhere along the way of your preoccupation.

And if you hatin you're bound to get irate...
So many times in life, we hurt deeply, grow angry, and lash out without understanding fully. It appears that humanity, see more and judge more, feel less and care less. We should be striving for a reverse of this. When we experience pain, be it physical or emotional, usually life is trying to put a message across to us, so that we can learn and grow from it. But how many of us do that? We just brush everything away without learning and allow the bitter core in us to build and rebuild all over again. And even if time demolishes it after sometime, the foundation is never destroyed because of us. Isnt it just so pathetically sad?

Yet, it is so difficult.

But nothing is easy, if we can work hard at school, at love relationships, why not work at ourselves? After all, everyone will benefit. Grow your soul.

Peace.

You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all.....

"Let our hearts not be bitter over what we believe to have lost, do not now have, or perceive as unjust lest the essence of such unpleasantness may propagate to the remainder of our heart and soul. To recall those many wonderful times and relish their memory is far better than to dwell on the few moments that we feel were less than ideal."

Jem's Update

MTV Awards was enjoyable.. haha although standing for like 5 straight hours isnt really my kind of thing. But watching the action live was definitely worth it. Gareth gates duet with Siti Nurhalizah was so fantastic! They sang 'say it isnt so' and it made me feel so sad even though I have no relation to the lyrics. Mariah Carey was the surprise guest.. and wow it was...um... a surprise! haha Too bad she didnt sing a song though.

Thank you all who have tagged my board and sms-ed me enquiring after me~! And thank you Dele for dedicating that entry to me I thought it was so sweet. Anyway just for the record, I'm much better now, temperature has gone down to normal. For the past 2 nights, it's been above 39 degrees, and it hit an all time high of 40.4! I thought I was gonna get brain damage. *whines* haha ok let me just wallow in self pity for a while ok? And no Dele it's not TB! *knocks wood* just throat infection but I've been taking my medicine regularly. *virtuous look*

To Cheryl: Hey get well soon yeah? Drink lots of water and all that. Poor thing! Anyway, just wanted to say thanks.. really appreciate it.. you know what I'm talking about.. but yeah...thanks! :) Hugz

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAUREEN AND HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY TO ALL SINGLES AND COUPLES

Watching you guys happily taking photos and all that filled me with much memories, and the smiles that were captured, the genuine grins unmasked and sincere, brought out the innocence and fun that we share as a group. Just sitting apart and viewing it from outside, made me know that most people would envy what we have. Like how I was talking with one of you yesterday, we are a great group, and her eyes, upon looking at all of us, filled with tears as she took in the scene before her. And like what I was discussing with another one of you, I guess we just need more communication and deeper understanding. Let's just see how it goes, but not harbour any hard feelings alright? Every single one of you mean a lot to me.

PS: The pictures of yesterday's bbq are up!
PSS: I miss Yun like crazy already.

To Cheryl: Hey girl!! Thanks a million for the Iverson cap.. It is so not awful and my friends agree with me. Check out the pictures man you guys. Haha But seriously THANK YOU! ;p

PS: I'M GOING FOR MTV ASIA AWARDS!!

Happiness is from within, it is not a matter of externals.

In the core of our hearts lie our souls, something intangible yet strikes us in the significant ways with huge impacts. Our thoughts and feelings are the ones which make up this soul, with addition to that undefined mystical thing in us, and it is through these inner processes that are the stepping stones in the attainment of peace. The soul is that one thing that can bring us closer to the true security which we all seek.
But to hope for peace, one must first acknowledge the good things in our lives, the small seemingly insignificant issues which we all take for granted all the time. If we keep harping over our petty incidents, we will forever stay in discord and never be at harmony with ourselves.

Within each individual, we all hope for peace. But if we only stop just for a moment to listen to our hearts, then only can the potential of this hope can be realised and reach its peak.

Give peace a chance.

We all carry around so much pain in our hearts. Love and pain and beauty. They all seem to go together like one little tidy confusing package. It's a messy business, life. It's hard to figure--full of surprises. Some good. Some bad.Henry Bromel

So many of us worry about tomorrow that we forget to enjoy today. We harbour in us the grief and memories of yesterday that we slip into the tendency to live with our past. We plan ahead too much for our future yet we cant make the decisions of our present life. Why? Is life really one whole messy circle? All the planning and remembering just takes us in a mind merry-go-round or a brain roller coaster whose final stop is finally back to our current place. I say, stop and smell the roses, but feel the thorns. Learn to appreciate the beauty, yet be wary of the ugly. It's a balanced scale, which only you know how to. Just remember to smile, and look forward to a sunshiny day each new morning.

Passing time.. getting to know myself more and letting you guys know me better. Ha.. dual advantages

NAME: Jem Goh
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE NORMAL: Define normal. Conventionally, yes. Socially, debatable. Personally, definitely.
DO PEOPLE FIND YOU STRANGE: uh.. some say I am weird, though I prefer the term unique or interesting. ahah. I dont know actually why dont u guys tell me
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: Yes. There is this saying, the trouble with atheists is that when they are thankful, they have nobody to thank.
DO YOU SIN A LOT: erm. I guess.. I try hard not to though..
DO YOU BACKSTAB:: Hmm.. No. I do have my share of usual complaints or bitching but never crossing that line. At least I hope not.
ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: Haha again this should be answered by my friends.
ARE YOU IN LOVE: Yes. With my mummy, God, Myself (me myself and I) and hmm.. someone.
ARE YOU YOUNG: It's my last teenage year. In between maybe.. *sings* I'm not a girl.. not yet a woman....
EVER BEEN A LEADER OF SOMETHING:: Well yeah.. those small groups. I dont really like responsbilibity but I wont shirk it when it comes to others. I think haha. I'd rather work alone.
EVER KILLED A LIVING CREATURE: I reallllly do my best not to.. I think it's so sad to kill, whether it's human or otherwise. There's just something inhumane to it. But then just the other night, I killed a moth cause it flew at me and in my fear I wahcked it too hard. But it was an accident!! Involuntary manslaughter...
LAST ODD THING DONE: Er.. no idea.
DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP: Nope. I am an amateur or even less at those.. uh.. what? mascara.. blusher.. lipstick.. and all those other foreign articles.
DO YOU REBEL:I rebel and conform, depending on how I feel.
EVER STARTED A FIRE?:: uh.. a matchstick? or the stove?
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL: No
DO YOU LIKE LYING: I value honesty, although I am guilty of those white lies every now and then.
DO YOU REGRET: Of course like many others, there are certain situations that I would recreate if I could change time, but since that is impossible, I try to tell myself that if it wasnt for those times, I wouldnt be the person I am now, for every obstacle in life makes you stronger yeah?Move on..
DO YOU HAVE A BESTFRIEND: No. BUt I have 2. :)
DO PEOPLE HATE YOU: *takes a deep breath* I just realised I have an unknown enemy out there.
DO YOU HATE PEOPLE: No. Hatred is a very strong term. Momentary hatred yes, but they all diminished to dislike. I always believe that if you hate someone, the only person you end up hurting is your own soul.
CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY: No. To live is a basic human right.
DO YOU CUT YOURSELF?: Does tattooing count? haha
EVER TASTED BLOOD: yes but not intentionally.
DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF YOU: Hmm judging by what is going around right now, no I dont care. For as long as I know how I am like, nobody else matters. But if you are my close friends, yes I would definitely care for sometimes we are too blind in ourselves and need loved ones to tell us how we have changed.
EVER DONE ANYTHING OCCULT: uh.. when I was younger once. Dumb thing to do.
ARE YOU GOTHIC: no not at all.
DO YOU SMOKE: uh..
CONSUME DRUGS: No. I dont even like commercial drugs, those regular medicine. makes me sicker.
WHAT DO YOU WEAR: clothes.
YOUR SKIN COLOR: a lil tan? er.. tanned I guess.
DO YOU LIKE THE SUN: yes, if I have my trusty sunnies. Haha
HAVE YOU LOST SOME ONE YOU LOVE: Yes. When I was 8.
HOW DOES GRIEF FEEL: Heart wrenching. But I always try to detach myself before I get to that stage.
YOUR ROLE MODEL: my mummy. She's the strongest and most patient person to me.
YOUR HEART DESIRES TO BE WITH WHOM:uh...
YOURE LISTENING TO: the click clack of the keys.
DO HATE YOURSELF: No. I get angry or disappointed, but not to the extent of hate. I love myself too much. And love overrides everything huh? :)

Everyone knows how to love, because we are all born with that gift. Some people have a natural talent for it, but majority of us have to re-learn, to remember how to love, and everyone, without exceptions, needs to burn on the bonfire of past emotions , to relieve certain joys and griefs, certain ups and downs, until they can see the connecting thread that exists behind each new encounter, because there is a connecting thread.Paulo Coelho- 11mins

I am commitment-phobic. But perhaps I am ready for the next stage. Only time will tell. ( one month one month. ahah ok sorry private joke)

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
To my friends: There has been underlying tension, obvious yet silent lurking around us, taking away the friendship atmosphere that we are so used to feeling. People change, situations change, and sometimes sadly, changes pulls people apart instead of together. But like what Dele said, maybe we should try a little more to adapt to each other.
The trashing out session that night, I dont know if it was a blessing in disguise, or purely did not clear the air, but in fact added on to the smog. But all I know is that it did make me realise a lot of things. I would like to tell you all to take things easy, that some things arent gonna change by harping over it or constant thinking, but I know that it's almost futile because of internal resentment that was perhaps never brought up, and became the vicious chain that led to the other events. But friends are friends, I would still like to hold on to the hope that one day, we'll not be like before, but even better. I guess everyone needs now is time..
To Yun: I know everything is very messed up for you, hope that all straightens for you.. I know you need time alone right now, but yup.. I'll wait for you till you're ready, but remember that in the meantime you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you

Sin makes its own hell, and goodness its own heaven. Mary baker Eddy

The innate humanity I once believed exists even in the hardest core is fast dissipating; but I shall still hold on to faith and not condemn all humanity because of a single mistake, or actions by one individual.

Everyone has a balancing scale of right and wrong, and though the lines are usually fine, for certain things, the line of good and bad is a bold and loud margin across it, and one of such circumstances arises when there is a deliberate smirking intention of tarnishing the reputation of someone, and in the process did not stop to ponder about how the person involved might feel.

The intentional spite and vengefulness .. scares me.

The initial momentary anger I felt has long been gone, and replaced by resignation.. or perhaps it is more appropriate to say my detachment has set in again, the shield of holding back from feeling in order not to let those feelings possess me and control, or turn me into some bitter and hard person.

To those who are close to me, what I told you has happened again last night, this time the messages has turned into calling. But I managed to obtain sufficent proof .. and now it is time to unmask that bitch.

ok sorry.. just ranting.. as usual.

It is better to be wronged than do wrong.

To Ralph: I dont know what to say.. but remember that there are many of us rallying around you by your side, God is always watching over you. Everything will be ok soon.. Be strong and have faith. *big hug*

Too tired. No.. the word is drop dead exhaustion. Haha ok rather exaggerated but yeah.
Anyway, the night cycling photos are up.

One no more... back to two?
The sun rises and the sun sets, but yet something is bare
For how can we enjoy it, when there is no one there to share.
Will there be a portrait somewhere in the heart
Or will it be replaced by a careless smudge.
Does it end or will it start?
Together, or part.
I want my friends back, but I realise now that it's bonding that lacks.
Remember , or forget , only time will tell
But remember the friendship, in many ways,has treated you well.

Some differences are difficult to reconcile.... But....

Jem's Update
It's 7.. just returned home and I am blogging. Yes, sometimes my priorites may appear to me a little screwed. Anyway, had a nice dinner at Dele's place last night, thanks for cooking! And Jewel is so cute Yun and I are gonna dognap her. ha.. Went to buy tao hui (is that how you spell it?) at Geylang then headed down to east coast.
And... I shall do something about this cough. Yeah.. ok I admit.. it's going on slightly longer than usual.
Looking forward to night cycling later! Another late night..*groans* ha but I am gonna sleep the whole of Sunday away..

A time for everything. Is eternity really in existence, or is everything ephemeral?
A time for birth, A time for death.
A time to sleep, A time to wake.
A time for fantasy, A time for reality.
A time to smile, A time to cry
A time for bravery, A time to fear.
A time to laugh, A time to frown.
A time to socialise, A time for solitude.
A time to love, A time to hate.
A time to say hello, A time to bid farewell.

Time. Does not last forever. Which brings me back to my Moments. But isnt this what life is really about? But the more complicated question is, there is a time for all, but how do we know when or what the right time is?
How do we know if we are ready for the next big step.

But I feel, that if you ask yourself this question. 'Is it time yet?' More often than not, it isnt. Because if it really is time, you wouldnt ask yourself, you would just say, 'It is time.' When it comes, you'll know it.

You set up your barrier, I set up mine. You hide behind yours, I hide behind mine. Whether communication exists lies within us. what can i say? we have major communicatn probs, maybe we both refuse to let on how we really feel, whether it's sad, angry happy or whatever. Maybe cause it's our past, that we cant seem to let go, and we let wounds from our past hurt shadow what we have. Maybe. But the sad thing is, no one seems to be doing anythng about it. *shrug*maybe it's just e way things are, and will remain until we can crawl out of hiding. Maybe.

Jem's Update
Hmm... my phone has a very slim chance of getting repaired and it's kinda worrying me cause my guilty conscience is eating me.. cause I didnt pay for that phone.. If I paid for that phone I wouldnt give a damn. Changed my sim card.. all data lost so just to tell you guys I dont have any of your numbers except those that are stored in my head.. Used my 8850.. only to discover that the battery isnt working so I have to fork out to buy a bloody battery..
Didnt really have a fantastic time at tuition.
OK.. done complaining.

Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with 2 perfect wings and w glossy, colourful marvellous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with hi, She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the 2 travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.
But then she thought: he might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afriad, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.
And she felt alone.
And she thought: 'I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.'
The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
........... Now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly, and express the true meaning of his life. begain to waste away..
One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seem him for the first time, flynig contentedly amongst the clouds.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realised what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion.Extract from Paulo Coelho's Eleven MInutes

It seems to be common conception that when 2 people are in love they should be together. They enjoy every waking minute together, partake in mutual activities, but can this be read as consuming one's freedom?

Right now, my relationships are based on freedom, because no other relationship would work.

I have a relationship with someone, and what makes us different is that we both know that are special to each other, shared special moments and this feeling will always remain
Perhaps that was the only reason they loved each other, because they knew they did not need each other.
Perhaps. Although I wouldnt call it love. Just..( in your words hah) a rather different friendship.

This seems so contradicting. But seriously, if I were to have anything with someone right now, I want it to be based all on moments. It is the only way the relationship will last, where no one ties us down.

Does this make sense?

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Mohandas K. Gandhi

Was it the interception of fate that chanced me upon this particular quote?

Too often we hate the world because of offensive actions or words directed to us, and cynicism's roots towards mutual goodwill among man started to be embedded deeper into the soil. And unwittingly, or sometimes purposely, the vengence that we feel because of the dire circumstances that we are forced to face changes us into handy gardeners, where our bitterness becomes the water for the weeds.

Among the roses there are thorns. But among the thorns there are also roses.

In this deep dark forest that we are entrapped in, unknown dangers and wicked branches, we fail to notice those that flower and flutter around us.

But who can blame those that seek revenge? who knows the amount of rage, and all the other inner turmoil or conflicting senses that arent exposed to our judgemental eye?
But this isnt whose fault it is or whose responsibility it is. It's just a matter of finding peace within yourself, which is as unique as each individual.

Peace. Seek peace.

That should be the aim for all.

Diminishing hope leads to broken spirits. have faith.

Jem's Update
I had an exhausting day. And last night too. Ha no those out there dont think too explicitly! I just had a late night that's all. Went to Sentosa today! Hey my kayaking wasnt THAT bad huh? At least I didnt capsize. Oh.. and smart me had my handphone in my pocket when I went into the water. So... well.. I thought it would dry out but nah... my sim card and phone conked out. But I'm not fretting over it! I mean... so it's a little inconvenient but it's just a phone huh?So my friends, if you want to get me on my handphone, uh... you cant. haha
HAPPY HARI RAYA ALL~

Humanity is deteriorating...at least in my world.

An incident has just happened.... at 4am in the morning, which jerked me rudely from my half asleep stupor, and in that time, a significant decrease if the line in my soul chart of others appeared.

It's ..... I dont even know how to describe it.. it's shameless and disgusting.. the (in Cheryl's words) malicious intent of some, out there to sow discord, in the face of annoymity.. gutlesss... I am so utterly put off that I dont even know how to string proper sentences together.

All I know is that I am disappointed. Very disappointed.

It seems like to some, I'm not that nice at all. And that does a great deal to confidence and esteem. But why should I care what it thinks, since all that matters are those who are closest to me knowing who I am.

No.. no one told me that I was some senseless asshole. Just something that someone did to me. Behind my back. My friends, you shall know soon.

Whatever it is, I shall find out. Or rather..whoever.

Ah hell.

Blasted fucker.

Did I mention that I am pissed?

And did I also mention that I am.. a little sad too.

ok I need my stoicness to step in right now. And it's working. See.. it does pay to be heck care.