there really isnt anything for me to do.

i'm in shock..................

jokes that made me laugh out loud!!

joke number 1
how does a woman hold her liquor?
ans: by the ears!

HAHA! I didnt get it at first!!
for those who didnt, rephrase the question as ' how does a woman hold her liquor(licker)?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ok a bit disgusting la but dont you think it's hilarious?

joke number 2
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend,"Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"

joke number 3
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"
"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."

disclaimer: it's a coincidence that these jokes are sex-related.

HAHAHA arent they funny! ! i sent joey joke number 1 over sms cause she erm..likes these kind of jokes. (heh) and she said it's not funny!!!!! and she questioned my sense of humour!!!!!

grr.

but i still think i am..oops... i mean the jokes are funny.

haha quick thank me for bringing laughter and joy in your life.

Facts Of Life. (not about puberty, nor about birds and the bees!)

stomach it, tolerate it, live with it. whatever. it's always right there either in your face, hidden behind, or punching you right in the gut.

1. we never seem to learn. mistakes made arent evolving to the lessons they are supposed to be.

2. issues buried in the past arent that deep in the grave and it's easy to be dug up.

3. that the grass is greener and lusher on the other side is merely and optical illusion and you're bound to be disappointed if you ever wander.

4. we always think that our own problems signal the end of the world. or the end of life. but obviously, they dont.

5. the fine line between making love and having sex is the difference between the emotional intimacy between the two.

6. love is great, but not powerful. restlessness or other pathetic excuses are quite enough to shatter its essence. discipline is one of the keys of a lasting relationship.

7. feelings are complicated. dont even try to comprehend them. ( came across this nice quote! Just because you love someone, it doesnt mean you have to be involved with the,. love is not a bandage to cover a wound. -hugh elliot.)

8. studying is important. people without paper certificates make it because not only do they have elements of creativity and risk, but also damn bloody good luck! which most of us dont.

9. contentment is difficult to achieve. but once you stop all your greed, envy, yearning etc, you're a step towards happiness.

10. everyone takes our basic body functions for granted. (when was the last time you pretended to be blind just so you can appreciate your gift of sight?)

11. everyone takes everyday miracles of nature for granted. (when was the last time you ever really looked at the leaves and trees?)

12. everyone takes our ways of life for granted. (when was the time you silently paid gratitude to the geniuses who invented all the lights and phones and internet and rice cooker and gas cooker)

..................................................................... *sigh*

happy note: YUN IS BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! YAY!!!

now that it's over, it can come out into the open.

for the last few days, my mummy received results of her annual mammogram, and instead of the usual uneventful outcome, she was asked, no -told, no- commanded to return to the hospital because there was something amiss.

that threw my mum into something of a frenzy. when it comes to her children, she's a woman as strong as iron with everready reassurance and skyhigh confidence. but internally, she's as soft as... mushy tofu. yes so tofu is already mushy but let's throw the oxymoron in for bigger emphasis.

she had to endure about 5 days of worrying, not long on paper but time is always relative. sleepness nights, tears. despite our attempts to coax her out of unnecessary worries.' dont worry till you have to' became a sort of mantra.

so today i accompanied her for her check up, a rare time where i wake up at 730 so willingly without even a tinge of protest.

went through a few hours of traumatising check ups and ultrasounds which made my mother's face grew longer and longer as time went by. doctor language didnt help as their serious expressions clearly stated that there was something up.
and i have nervous stomach! i had to keep rushing to the toilet!
and i have a serious soft spot for my mummy and when she's upset or tearful it's contagious cause i hate to see her like that but i had to control and be all responsible and mature because we cant both be breaking down at the same time.

and the results?
we were told that my mum has cysts, to which she bursts into tears because she had no idea what they were (see what ignorance can do to u??) while i on the other hand was like, 'cysts? yay! but that's great!'
i think for one crazy moment my mum probably thought i had a sadistic fetish in me or something.
doctors and nurses were quick to assure her that it was not cancerous and not in the least life threatening.

poor mummy took some time to calm down.

anyway, thank God. He answered our prayers once again!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
i wasnt surprised though. she's such a great mum.

and after that, we went shopping!

:D

how easy we take our health for granted....

i think i grew up even more again this morning.

the trouble with pure unadulterated routine is that you can sink deeper into its confortable stupor until you become bleary eyed and you cant differentiate the line between reality and illusion.

people claim that routine is stifling. and it is. but if it is only temporary, it's blissful. and the depth of content you experience is so fulfilling that you pride yourself in knowing that you have reached the matured emotional capacity to relish every single day because you know that what you have in your life is not something to be taken for granted but to be sincerely treasured.

day by day, one step at a time. nice to know that happiness isnt so hard to reach.
gives and understanding to the phrase 'tired but happy'

anyway, maumau has returned to perth! but i'm not that sad. haha oops! no maumau not cause i wont miss you but because excitement at my upcoming trip overrides everything else! i can just picture gwen and i at 6am sleepily shuffling through the gates but waking up completely at the sight of you! make sure you bring huge cardboard signs so we can spot you easily.

and yun is coming back in a few days!! *dances a jig*
yun yun yun my precious yun !

cher has been staying over very often. and so when she goes home, my room feels so empty!
like now. my bed is too big for me la. i miss you hurry come stay again!

joey jeab and cher wanted to watch that thai horror show the other day. which i erm.. politely declined. and you know what!? i went home and that very night i had a nightmare about this thai woman ghost!

ok briefly this woman used to stay at the restaurant which i am working now. she started to follow me all over the place and typically no one can see her but me. and she was angry with me and each day, because of that anger she grew uglier and uglier! (so exorcist right) and when i mustered up the courage to ask her she screamed at me in thai (or so i assume) so of course i dont understand.
doesnt sound scary here but think abt it. a thai woman ghost getting uglier every day and following me everywhere!
what kind of nonsensical dream is that.

SEE U GUYS IT'S ALL UR FAULT!~! WHO ASK U WANT TO WATCH HORROR SHOW! NEVER EVEN WATCH ALREADY HAVE NIGHTMARE.

i used to be a sucker for horrors but now you gotta drag me arm leg hair whatever to get me to watch and even so i'll jsut close my eyes throughout.

i'll only watch ghost buster.

at least you know, the ghosts get busted.

it's a harry business!

HARRY POTTER!!
haha i dont care i really love that book.
heck care to all the serious philosophical books man!!

harry harry harry harry....

my mummy bro and i all want to read the book at the same time.

but for course, who gets to read it first!

the princess of the family!!

omg did i just say that out loud?

been through the mill.
drained and squeezed of every ounce of energy.
physically exhausted.
limbs falling off.

take your pick of adjectives!

but it was all worth it.

JOEY CAME IN 3RD OVERALL!!
so proud of her but seriously she deserves it. was crossing my fingers for championship because that was where her standard was and no i am not exaggerating due to biasness. ;p

she looked so hot and cool too!!

*smug look*

*ahem*
ps: i sound like i have a crush on you!
:S

underage kids look away! (not that i have any reading my blog)
pss: one of the prizes is a sex toy! how kinky! happy times in the bedroom! *censored censored censored*

remember i said cher zen mau and i were her back up dancers for her drag king performance? yay! we came in 3rd!!!! *even bigger smug look*

s.a.t.i.s.f.a.c.t.i.o.n.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:(
:<
:...(
:,,,,,,,,<

i lost my nokia 7260......

any offers for a new one? the white one!
fairy godmother are you reading this or are you really just a fairy tale fantasy?

speaking of which, how about changing all my old t shirts into fresh and newly cut branded clothing for low-expectations me?

excuse me. energy juice all squeezed out, brain juice just beginning so thus.

byebye...
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yun: our flight details are 25th august (thurs) leaving at 1.05a.m. you can come over on fri or something!

it's official!
departure from singapore on the 25th august to perth and returning on 2nd september!

hugging of koalas here i come.

List of defences with regard to Jem's exhaustion

1. christofori work. students having their piano exams this month and thus extra lessons given the dedicated teacher that i am. haha hey let me just praise myself and give myself some credit okay?

2. work at the restuarant. i wouldnt say this is back breaking work, far from it in fact. however i am not used to working in the week days! (yes good training for the future i suppose but for now whatever!) yes yes i'm a spoilt kid i never denied it but at least i am working so grumbling is a side effect (or consequence) to be endured!

3. dancing! haha actually was having fun with the other back up dancers. oh i sound so professional! haha due to day work commitments, that means our training is at night! and i dont mean evening, but at wee hours, beginning from abt 11pm and stretching till 3-4am. (see another evidence of dedicated me.) ;p

4. worries!
mainly financial. i dont spend money like it falls from the sky... i spend it like it comes out of the wall. haha it does!
and i decided that i am going to fund my own school fees next term! i felt quite proud when i came to that decision actually. (this is a so not shy post)
then my mummy can save money!
and my money will be put to much better use!

Happier notes
1. i bought Nintendo ds! it's so cool! it's touch screen! my last computer game was like... sega? okay playstation but then it belongs to my brother so technically it doesnt count.
anyway, it's sort of because of this hence worry number 4. haha i'm so broke! i need my pay to come quickly so i can pay for my air ticket to perth.

2. happy birthday bessy!!!! ok i am going to call u soon. *wink* i just hope that er.. it's not engaged. whahahahhahahaha

things to look forward to
1. YUN!!! YUN!!!!!!!!!
2. PERTH TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

life feels good.

joey and jem having a conversation regarding multiplication and division.

joey picks up phone to sms her tuition kid.

next moment, joey exclaims 'BRO I CANT FIND THE 'TIMES' SIGN!'

me: er..... isnt it just the alphabet X?

ahahhahahha!

you need to care enough to get angry.
because if that someone doesnt affect you, nonchalence would be the answer.

but what if it was fear?

what frightens you? what do you associate with dread and horror?

and i'm not referring to phobias, such as fear of dying or fear of spiders or whatever even if they may leave you with the same effects.

what if the thing that horrifies you is actually a person?

not meaning to sound patronising, but unless you've really been in the shoes of the victim, you cannot dismiss the gravity of this.

yet, i can concede it is difficult to recgonise the severity of it because the idea of being afraid of a person just seems almost ridiculous. because that was how i reproved myself yet it was out of my hands.

but to live in fear is the worst feeling in the world.

and even when you have broken the chains, it still trails behind you and you can hear its spooky rattles ever so often. too often.

but this is the best method for character enhancement. because that constant internal battle within yourself fortifies you to such a point that you realise you come away a stronger person. you were forced into a challenge which you couldnt refuse, and you know what? you won.

and that triumph comes with the sweet reward of LIBERTY!

to be free from fear is the best freedom of all.

it takes years, it took years but i realised that day that i can look at fear and instead of going 'oh my gawd' followed by a whole influx of bad memories and frantic heart beating and self chastising that i got involved with a total psychopath (and i am really not exaggerating. ok maybe just a little bit. but seriously, only a little.) i can just go yucks!

hallelujah.

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Happy Randoms

I bought a $300 tennis racket for only $150! what a great bargain. thank you singapore for your great singapore sale.

I got through my first day at work without dropping any plates. not on the floor, not on anyone's head. the only stupid thing i did was attempting to pick up the claypot with bare hands. yeah so dumb right.. :p

mau cher zen and i are gonna be joey's background dancers for butch hunt. haha! we're gonna go all out to have fun. and it's not retarded. it's refreshing! plus fun. i realised i cant dance. not unless it's choreographed boyband moves (OMG!) or clubbing.
ok fine actually any type of dancing also cannot BUT it's just that it is especially bad!
nevermind la right bro? ;p

psst: i bet joey is dying to seize the oppotrunity to rub herself all over me. haha!

been spending time with my maumaujane. :D

gonna stayover at cher's place on thurs and get to eat my yummy fried rice which i have not eaten in months. no one makes fried rice like you do my darling!i love you!
yummy yummy yummy, ah yummy yum yum..

and i thought she loved me.........

heh.

the consequences of late night sessions have been bestowed upon me!
arrival in the form of depleting complexion and eyebags..
okay it's probably worst for my friends because some of them have work the next day.
Dele i still cant comprehend how you can go home at 4am and get up for work the next. *kowtows*

did i mention that i have the best bunch of friends in the world? okay everyone probably thinks their group is the best but mine is the best! haha

so happy mau is home. yun has pushed her arrival in singapore to a later date grrrrr so that means i have to wait.

anyway, I FOUND A JOB!

ok, joey found me a job.

JOEY FOUND ME A JOB!

and guess what! I'M GOING TO BE A WAITRESS.

wahahahah~! yes me!!

Anyway, i took it cause the hours are so flexible. plus it's at a quaint thai restaurant and not those *beep beep beep beep* that so many *ahem* kids work at. i cant elaborate for fear of reprisals.
plus i get to work with joey and zen! according to them, there arent many patrons so therefore reducing my chances of dropping plates on anyone's head!

few months back, i spoke about wanting to get an 'employee of the month' award. heh.
see! i'm working towards that. :D

the other night, mau, dele, joey, j, cher and i drove to sentosa to have a look at KM8. and since i suck at narrative descriptions, please take my word for it when i say it's worth taking a trip down. the beach chairs laid on the beach(duh!) are perfect for star gazing... *star light star bright wish the wish i wish tonight!*

bliss....


bro we look so happy here!




moonlight picnic at kent ridge park with bats flying all around