last night, i went out for dinner with an old friend and she brought her 8 year old son along.

he insisted on telling me a joke and now i insist on sharing it with you!

what does a ghost eat for dessert?
ans: ice cream!

LOL LOL LOL
did u guys get that? if ure as lame as me, u will!!

haha isnt it funny. i think he shld join my joke club.

yesterday, i was rushing to a couple of my appointments, and one appointment tok me past sgh and the other took me past my grandma's home. and i got a little irrationally angry about the chain of events, because all these months i never had an appt anywhere near these places and when i wish to avoid them suddenly i am called to them. ah such is life's humour.

could not sleep well last night, therefore had ample time to figure out life's mysteries. haha well my own life anyhow. predictably, no conclusion can be reached, certain matters accepted albeit resignedly, and well nothing very substantial except the nodding to the knowledge that life goes on, even after death, after failed relationships, even when something goes wrong with ur family, ur friends, ur business, ur love life etc etc etc etc. the world doesnt stop turning, ur world may halt temporarily but life does go back to some sort of order.

remembered my grandma, and well there are some people you remember with a pang, and grandmothers fall under that category.

remembered others too, but shall not go into that.

ok! a little bit morose, the next entry will be a happier one.

wouldnt it be nice if life were to keep constant? no dramatic changes, no sudden upheavals.
mundane? i prefer to call it settled and contented.
i think ive got enough excitement to last me a while.

the cough is irking me! i keep feeling like ive swallowed a cupful of dust.

melodrama aside, thank god for friends who keep me sane.

'you've got to face it!' that's what she said. you know ive always been a fan for running away! you know, live for the moment and all that jazz. but yes yes yes facing facing faccceeedddddd. :)
haha but i still believe in sparks! hehe.

dont you just feel like killing me sometimes... cause sometimes i feel like killing myself too!
not literally of course.

ive got so many things on my mind, so much i wish to say, so many matters to sort through. too much thoughts to analyze, too many revisited opinions.
i need to rest. not physically rest my body, although that may be a good idea because i'm not recovered fully yet.

you know, i think god works in mysterious ways. i feel He is usually trying to tell us something, but we dont listen, or He shows us something but we deliberately look the other way.
we tend to run from Him, because we know His plan is always good for us yet we think we know better.
God gave us free will, and this is what we always take to the fullest advantage.
yet, how can we say we are truly living if we follow His way and ah there's the old debate on what is His way and who says God said this and said that after all none of us ever had a conversation with Him after all.

it hasnt been an easy week. falling ill, and gosh, i have not had a 39degree fever in a looonggg time. grandma's passing. sighs. have not been in the office the entire week and more worries are piling up. it'll be good to go in for a while tmr and lose myself in work and not think about the intricacies of life.

well, the new year opened up with lotsa partying, and has moved on slight to the above, and after such a tremendous lousy week, it can only get better next week, but ah monday is the cremation.
well, after monday then.

sometimes i want to sit down and think about my next steps, but im so tired. and im contented where i am. well most of the time anyway. ive got such hopes, to be a better person, to do this and that, i just hope it doesnt backfire on me. but yes, ive got such hopes, dont take it away.

we are so young. we've got a whole life ahead of us still.

please God give ur children strength. maybe not guidance yet, for it seems like we are at a stage where we are still stubborn donkeys keen to do things our own way and make our decisions not influenced by you, but give us the strength to pick ourselves up when we make mistakes, and to help each other as well.

should have said this, should have done that. ah, if i were God, i'll just be sick these laments. weak and pathetic, we humans are.

i started on this book called 'have a little faith ' by mitch albom. went to a bookstore to get it yesterday and was informed that they dont stock that book and threw a mini hissy fit because that was just impossible. it's a bestseller and they dont have it? the guy just didnt bother looking hard enough. anyway the manager stepped in, got me the book in a jiffy and soothed the ruffled feathers.

im glad i got stroppy, cause i really wanted to read that book, and it turned out to be such a great comfort to me. the timing is just so appropriate. im not done with the book, but it deals a lot with religion, and how faith is abt believing something bigger than yourself and the comforts it brings.

so dear God, pls take away all the pain from my family now, esp my grandfather, and my mum, and my aunts. dont worry abt the grandkids, we're all still emotionally strong enough to withstand this, so whatever help u planned to give us please give it to our elders instead.

and of course, pls keep her safe in your loving arms.

amen.

the driving forces of life, what keeps you going. i think ( well for me at least) i put lots of faith and trust on hope. hope, is what keeps me moving forward, the enthusiam albeit naivety regarding everything in life.
but sometimes when you place that hope in something, it's always an investment. and many times the returns are bad.
but oh well, u lose some and win some right.

so 2010 has arrived. i love the new year, because it's such a strong symbol of hope. i have so many plans ahead, so many troubles to leave behind.

they always say one must always look forward, but sometimes without turning your head you get blasts from your past, and woah trust me some blasts totally knock u off ur feet!
but there comes the fireman called mr reality to put out those sparks.
( yes i call it sparks not not just getting along.) :)

well but 2010 started off well. i thoroughly enjoyed my foam party at sentosa and thoroughly enjoyed lobby bar yesterday.
now it's time to get back to work.

may i hv lots of luck in that department as well.

so happy new year everyone, may u all hv a great year in love, health, career family and god.:)

leave behind the bad times.
remember the good times everyone.

please remember.