take a bull by its horns. but sometimes you choose to let it race by instead of taking on the challenge. perhaps you hoped that the bull would come automatically to you but it didnt, and it went away away from you.
because there is no point fighting for something that doesnt belong to you.

funny how life turns out. but every now and then u feel a pang. but grown up we all are, and have.

i think it's not very cute that a person can be absolutely convinced the day is jinxed, and she should just burrow under the covers till the day is over in order not to mess up the day even more than it already is.

if it was a monday, i'd label it monday blues. wednesdays are supposed to be lucky, i mean, it's supposed to be our night isnt it? ok i dont know how that logic got planted in my head.
maybe it's the middle of the week, and let's face it, since when does anyone like getting caught in the middle and dont ask me how that particular logic got planted as well.

i'm longing for a holiday. i know i just came back from phuket but if u have realised the lack of blogging about that holiday is a sign that there was lack of fun. sure there were some good bits, but that's all it was, bits.
i was totally unimpressed. i would have enjoyed it much more if i was granted an extension, but an extension at the price of almost additional $400 for a couple of days was not worth it, even if i had money to throw which i unfortunately dont.

just read y's blog about the beemers. the only 1 series i ever saw were hatchback! u have just opened my eyes to a whole new world.
chatted about cars yesterday. too bad it remained just a chat, and no further development. haha
come on, have your feet firmly planted in the ground and be contented with a honda.
when the business grows ok? next year jem next year!

considering i got an ungraded for accounts in sec sch, im wondering why i am tabulating commissions.

i had a really nice evening yesterday! cup noodles, coke, and perfect company. the only thing lacking is the sofa and the tv. haha
but dont u think it so relaxing to chill and chat with a buddy for hours talking about everything, including those issues which you usually keep secret to yourself.
it's nice to hear a friend's words and be proud that your friend of so many years has really matured and is more sensible. it's really the epitomy of growing up together. :)

b.l.i.s.s.

im back!

drinking is supposed to be a social activity, it's not supposed to bring dread to the participants.
that's when i know my drinking days are over and done with.
sure i get the craves sometimes, but then i get reminded of all the past grief it brought, and i decided that lousy alcohol is simply not worth it.

most people wont understand, because they see a very surface thing. it's only if one is directly involved, then the empathising will come. sigh. that's human nature, sometimes i feel we are not open or sensitive enough to read into people. and let's face it, who has the patience to.

but at the risk of sounding like an old age pensioner, i'm turning my back on it.
ive got enough of alcohol, not when it's drunk the way it isnt supposed to be.

alright, i dunno what spurred this sudden inclination to declare my abstinence.

but anywya, i'm in office now, supposed to be working. operative word being supposed!
but i'm suddenly quite excited by my trip. plus we're doing an extension so i'll be back on tues!

i'm really looking forward to some relaxation. do you know there's a permanent frown on my face now, and i look too serious now.
i need to quit worrying for a couple of days.

although speech was coming out of my mouth, contemptous thoughts were running through my head.
and then i felt a rather hypocritical, cause i talked nicely, but my brain was bitching away. :S

but anyway, i really do wonder why how some girls can fall for blustering idiots who are so brash and loud spoken and not to mention a particularly foul mouth.

arent there decent, well spoken guys, who are ambitious, yet caring, and carries himself well?
oh girls, for that matter. heh.!

no babies for me. although at the rate i was going, maybe i could be mistaken for a pregnant woman? but to my credit, i did cut down on my carbohydrates and i think i lost some weight!
ok back to the baby talk.
i think i'm too selfish.

was that too candid?

ok, here's another one. i think giving birth is utterly painful! i used to pride myself on having a high threshold for pain, but after the last dragon i'm a coward for blood and needles.

so conclusion: how can a selfish coward be a good mother?
give me puppies any day!!

ps: i dont mind being godmother though... ;p
i'd spoil the kid rotten.

it's off to phuket this weekend for the sun and the sea and shells and the sand and the.... asses twinkling from the bikini strings. ;)

as always, remember you are all loved by
ME.

call me a tech idiot, but i was really impressed by the machine which can fax, copy and scan. And not the small ones either, but the big office copier which can do so many 'tricks' . i'm amazed at how people are creative to think up of ideas to make work so much more hassle free.

anyway, it's the first day in the new office and i'm loving it!

plus today is our 9th month. just think, 9 months could have made a baby. ;) i think that's a true milestone.

sometimes, i wonder when the deja vu will stop. and i wonder when and if it will ever end.
i wonder if this is part of growing up, or was i just too naive in the past.
and is this the way it's supposed to be.
since i'm the only one who has a problem, i wonder if the problem is me.
i wonder how long forgiveness takes. i wonder if people ever do forget.
embrace life. i wonder when we will start veering from the theory to actually applying it.

it's mothers day today. i love you mum.
despite all my imperfections, i do hope u know that.

i find myself looking forward to weekends now. because weekdays get me exhausted sometimes. i think, i suffer from energy deficiency.