phew. time to take a little breather. it has been an eventful week, far too exciting and hectic for my liking. and let us remember that excitment isnt always a good thing.
came across this phrase the other day ' an anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word always cheers him up' . it made me wonder why people can be so nasty when they could so easily have been nicer. just a little giving can do wonders for someone who is already weary of the world and all its problems.
i always maintain, you may have a right to get angry, but you dont have a right to be cruel.
if you have the power to make someone happy or sad, when someone is so dependable on you, (and it doesnt matter if your opinion is that he should be more independant etc etc because that is another matter altogether) ; you should always exercise that responsbility carefully.
i told a certain mouse the other day that if one does not have the courage to walk away, there's a limitation to how much you can complain about the situation. because if you make a choice, you see it through all its ups and downs. you can confide if the going gets too tough, but you must never be bitchy. that's what i feel anyway.
there was a little bit of surge of happiness over the new white toy which gave me a bigger sense of security. yes, how things have come to a point where one requires material things to be secured! but it isnt about the materialistic toy, it's almost like a sense of belonging, an asset. get my drift? ok maybe not, sometimes im not sure i understand my own thoughts either.
i am looking forward to the day when i can get a home of my own, where i can retreat into my own little world with my piano and my guitars and, feel safe. of course now i have my haven in bishan, but i simply dont have enough space to put my countless stuff. haha.
i think perhaps i am finally grasping the concept of giving 100% in all that i do. and i am beginning to understand that when you give 100%, you dont necessarily get back 100%. and maybe that's what they mean by unconditoinal, you just give, and whatever comes back to you is not in return, but a bonus.
is anyone really that magnanimous? maybe the main thing isnt to be perfect, but just try.
i guess that's what irks me. or perhaps some might call it karma. ( although i still maintain that i wasnt that such a bad person!) but im facing many situations daily, be it work, love, oh wells in all aspects of life! where i finally decided that it is time and right to give my all, only to be disappointed and be let down, or rather be amazed by the theory that hey, what you give, you dont get back. and it isnt anyone's fault really. it's just the way life works. and instead of succumbing this negative reality of life, we should embrace it, because like what calvin's dad always tells him ' whatever you do not like will help to build character'.
