last night, in a headache induced melocholic stupor, i came to the conclusion, that in my quarter of a century age, which is neither too young but not old, i have known 3 people who have committed suicide.

to count my blessings, i am thankful that i was not directly affected, in the sense, i had the luxury not to go through the devastation one experiences when losing a loved one.
natural death is one thing. voluntary taking their life, i wonder, does it heighten or lessen the grief for their loved ones? knowing that they chose the path?

anyhow, the 3 people are
1. a schoolmate's parent. i dont know the reason or how he took his life.
2. a schoolmate. who hung himself due to a broken heart.
3. just recently, someone i worked with for a little while. a drug abuser.

no 3 was told to me thankfully not through gossip, but someone who felt i needed to know.
and i was remembering her last night because she taught me some acupuncture point for headaches, and i was pressing all around my palm but i couldnt get the spot and i guess now i'll never find it.

i wonder how dark the world must have seen for them, to find no way out, and that the only alternative was that. and how horrible it must have been for suicide to even be an alternative.
it makes my life seem to rich and fulfilling in comparison, and all my problems are so easily solvable. everything is within my control, worries nag at you but do not kill you.

and then i started remembering the others in my life who passed naturally, pets included.
and other people who passed whom i do not know but i knew their family.

and i sent a little prayer up for myself, my family, and their families.
and also, counted my blessings.

* didnt want to tell you to your face, cause i might ruin your day, but i wanted to tell you, i kept my word to you last night. because last night was the night which fell under ' sometimes i remember' :)

so it's a start of a brand new week, and in a couple of days, a brand new month.
this wasnt supposed to be a dreary post, just a little reminder to keep things in perspectives always,

cheers people.