the more beautiful it is, the harder it gets. perhaps this is what they call the epitomy of beautiful disaster. play with fire and you're bound to get burnt. the flames draw you close, it's hypnotic. beause you allow it to be.

'what power has love but forgiveness?
In other words
by its intervention
what has been done
can be undone
what good is it otherwise?'

- William Carlos Williams

you wish to apologise, but there are some words you cant unsay, some actions you cant do. and there are the holes, in the places where you neglected, there is sorrow, in failure. when one makes a mistake, what else is there to do, but apologise.

but some mistakes are one too many, or too grave.
'I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat'

but you will turn around and say, 'it's too late to apologize'.
and i would nod, because it's what i would expect all along.

life changes fast, in many ways. people move on, turning back occasionally, to look at who they left behind. what do you see in their eyes? you see regret, you see longing. but you only see it, when their heads are turned to your direction. when they turn away, they are looking forward, looking at someone else, with different feelings. you hold your hand, but no one sees. because you were the one who was left behind.
when can i pinpoint the exact moment where i turned my head? i dont know. but i know i did it with a heavy heart, with a head bowed.

people assume that the one who leaves has it the easiest. and it's true. no matter the defence that you hurt too, that it was the hardest thing you ever had to do, the one who makes that final choice, left gaping wounds for the victim to clean.
it's true , there is no denying it. i know i am the one who left. but you are the one i hurt.

and in the process, i hurt too. so much so that i wonder who i am. i became someone else, because when i left, i gave you a part of me no one else could ever have.

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
it's too late to apologize, it's too late

is it really?