a simple moment of promise. the one who bears the consequences isnt the one who got hurt. but also the one who made the promise. after so long, does anyone still remember the magic between the two? or like the promise, was it broken long ago?
the fingers have let go, but is the heart still strung?

has life been reduced to such? does this happen to the majority and not the minority? what happened to old fashioned true love and fidelity?
people like me has tarnished its vision.

each and every time, it's only a one sided conversation. so many questions unanswered, too many things unfulfilled. or maybe i just need to say those few words. those precious few words that would right out world again. but these words, like the love, belongs to a world i walked out on, a world i left behind, because i just didnt know what else to do.

how can i tell her i dream of her so often? and in those dreams, we hold the conversation ive been needing to have. does she hear me in my dreams, when i dream of her, is she dreaming of me too? are we talking to each other? or is it, like so many other things, a mere optical illusion designed by the whoevers to laugh at us, or by the silent justice who carries out the punishment i deserve.

a thousand words. or maybe just a simple action. or even just an eye contact, or a coded gesture, just to show her what she needs to see, and what i need her to know. but all that has been robbed from me, again a consequence of complacency, or neglect.

how can i tell her the heartache, i'm still getting used to it. that at times, it's too literal. how can i, when i dont exist in that world anymore.

i lead a different life now. a happy one. that's my world now.

but during moments when my guard is lowered, i revisit the other world. and the pain starts all over again. arg.

how can i tell her all this, when she isnt around to listen anymore.
and who can i blame, when i am the one to blame.