it's like a constant war begin waged. you battle with feelings that you are not supposed to feel, you suppress emotions, you resist temptations.
the battleground is set on steep hills, so that you are either trudging uphill valiantly, or rolling downhill hopeless.
for every two steps you climb, you slide down three. do the mathematics and you realise the peak is nowhere near.
but in the middle of it, sometimes you take time off to admire the scenary, or smell the flowers that have yet to be trampled on.
in the midst of chaos, you actually feel contentment. such is peace.

this is life and all its aspects aint it?
sometimes you have your ups, your downs, your neutrals.
they say you are one to decide which category your life falls in, but self is not strong enough sometimes.

you rely on others, on situations to determine it. when life is smooth sailing, you grin.
when life sucks you cry.
yes, they say that it all depends on how you view.
but certain moments, especially when you have dedicated your whole being to that, you experience the danger of losing control.

so what makes it worth it? that we are able to sacrifice, do away with shreds of diginity or ounces of pride?
why are we so smart at some things, yet a bloody fool in others.

it's about making choice.

maybe it's not the right one, or the best one.
but sometimes, that choice is what makes your life worthwhile.