i have always known before of my severely different thinking from others. sometimes i feel a little warped, a little abnormal, but at the end of the day, i lift my chin in defiance because the things that i believe in are part of who i am, and i dont think i am a fucked person at all.

sure, i fuck up every now and then. who doesnt? but i am still the best.

:)

i believe that when we are not happy in a situation, we can try to change things. but as usual, many things are out of our control. and sometimes, it gets to a point where you feel like you want to get out. many people will encourage themselves or their friends to hang on, or at least search for a back up plan.
i believe that it's we ourselves who know when the right time is to go.

eg. work.

perhaps i have never experienced it myself. sure, my work life is somewhat limited and considered immature at this point in time because after all, i am considered an undergraduate and part time work politics does not really count to many.

and yes, i am probably considered naive to turn a blind eye to the world of sharks. and how you have to turn into one to survive.
but i understand myself. i listen to the stories, and ive heard a good few recently. i am appalled by what i hear, the things that people say and do, and i wonder if they were once innocent. they had to be.
what happened? did they forget? in their instincts of survival?
or did they just get so caught up, that they just simply lost themselves without even knowing.

i will not be that.

call me whatever you want, young childish whatever, make your assumptions. but i think i know myself way better than anyone does.

many have been encouraging k to look for a job because it has almost been a month since she left her previous job. (thank god she left! wheeee CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!)

i dont understand if i should feel ashamed that i dont fall under that category.

yes, i know the income isnt coming in and what i can help is limited.

but i also believe that when k is ready, she is matured enough to open the newspapers and begin looking. not through motivation or nagging, but from something internal, within her.

i think your parents know that too. that's why they have not been saying much. thumbs up to them.. :)

yes, a little encouragement is good of course. but sometimes the best intentions can go awry.

should i be ashamed? that i, as her gf, isnt being motivating or asking her to look for a job?

i dont know. and the traces of shame that i feel are only because i guess i should be doing it and i didnt.

but if u ask me honestly, i can tell u a straight no.

i believe,

when the time is right, we will all know what to do.

we all need a break. and there isnt any guideline to tell u how long that break should be.

one month for 7 years. doesnt seem like a good deal to me.

k is happy. and thus, i am too.

the right time will come on its own.