the previous post was an impulse entry so thus i have decided to remove that rather tragic post.

i have decided to tender my resignation of my teaching post in august, after my kids have taken their exams, and i think the wistfulness that accompanies any departure will be overrided by plain joy.

after almost 2 years, it has begun to become a chore. i can feel that my dedication towards the job has started to dwindle, and when you're in a line that is teaching, you need to revive the passion constantly if not it isnt fair.
i admit recently my heart has not been at the right place, and it has become a weekly struggle, hence i decided it was time to leave.

i know there are many people out there who think i have it good, because i only work once a week, and the pay is rather substantial for a part-timer.

i acknowledge the perks, it's not as though i am not silently appreciative that i am qualified to teach piano and all the benefits i obtain.

but if you have never taught before, 12 straight hours in a row with only minimal breaks in between , i say, dont judge me.
and make that 25 kids, one after another, ranging from ages 5-15.

i have met so many different types of kids, it amazes me.

every other hour, you get the emotionally matured kids. the ones who understand the sincerity behind piano.

but mostly, you get the spoilt ones. the petulant ones. the ones who throw black faces.
the ones who do not do their homework week after week or practise, despite everything from cajoling to threatening.

and ok let's face it. i was once there too.

and it isnt just that. it's just.. everything. every single gawd damn thing.

you cant choose your students. you take what the school gives you. and the level of frustration irks me. it dampens me, and beginning to kill my love for piano.

too extreme? think again.
you've never been in my shoes. you just simply dont understand why people say that teaching heightens your stress level. hell, it rockets it skyhigh.

only a teacher can empathise with another teacher's plight.
because if seen from the sidelines, it just seems too dramatic to be true.

but trust me.
welcome to my world.
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headed to zouk last night! i think the last time i stepped in was last nov, and i kicked myself and swore over the crowd, the heat the everything and vowed never to return.

and last night, i realise everytime i go to zouk, i would say the same thing. :S

was initally reluctant plus i was in BERMS! i mean it was fine but i was wearing a jacket that didnt match and ok yes yes vain whatever.

i didnt mind zouk actually because i love house music but the crowd kinda scared me. we headed to phuture next where the crowd scared me even more. haha

but it was fine after a while because we found a space where we could actually dance, and not tiptoe in a reatarded circle.

and i had fun after that. had a nice workout. haha

but waking up was pure tortureeeeeeeeeee.

i love dancing with you, and feeling you lips on mine as we dance. happiness. sigh.