i seem to have all these theories and ideals about how one should behave when in a relationship. every now and then, whether it is a personal experience or the closed ones around me, all these fanciful ideas that i have just seem to weigh lesser each time.

i had so many different sides to me before i finally thought i settled down on one. classic case of split personalities? nah. just typical. quintessential of any human being. i guess i can say with a certain amount of pride that i have tried and perhaps found the balance of learning how to love.

is there a right way in loving someone? i think there is.

its just that what is a right way for you may be the wrong way for someone else.

we're just like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. sometimes, you meet another piece, and you realise that the two of you fit perfectly.

but then you turn each other around and realise that despite the fitting of the pieces, the picture totally clashes.

or you can have picture matches, yet different sizes.

so what then?
is there really a piece for you out there?

but you know sometimes, its just that one next to you. because you can change your size to fit each other. or simply tear of each others' pictures, and paint a new one together.

i still believe that.

how many of you have been gripped by paranoia and insecurity ever so often? i'm starting to wonder the root cause of it.
do we not have enough confidence? in ourselves? in the relationship? and where does it stem from? our wrong paths, or have we subconsciously stumbled across someone who made us feel this way?

have you ever looked at someone else, and think that your gf/bf is so much better of with that person than yourself?
have you ever swallowed your pride, to seek reassurance yet kicked yourself at the same time because you realise you could just be chasing the person away with all these irrationalities.

has someone else ever done something romantic/sweet (*fucking hell!*) to your gf/bf and you just stand at the sidelines watching it, your physical presence looming large but you're just simply invisible.

and you wonder if you should just remain invisible and let them get on with it.

ouch.

right and wrong. good and bad. happy and sad. everything in this world.
i have realised that they all exist together.