human nature is such that we dont often take notice of the little things because we assume that such issues in their sizes are of minimal or no significance. Time and experience thus proves us wrong, yet we repeatedly make that same mistake over again, taking for granted that each time we will continue to be forgiven.

till comes a day when you realise that second chances arent promised to anyone. and miracles, by their very nature rarely occur. and even luck, slowly begins to ebb out, leaving you with nothing to grasp onto by emptiness, and a whole lot of regret.


you either need to be given a lot of tolerance and patience as you being this slow and painful progress of cherishing. and sometimes, even though you think you've got it pat down, events occur to prove you wrong, and you realise that there is still plenty of room for character development after all.

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my once smooth flawless skin (yes yes not shy i know) ... well.. to put it plainly.. sucks. and sadly, this isnt an exaggeration made often by hapless females, although for once i highly wish i was one of them so that my current skin condition is but a highly dramatized condition.
due to everything., it's beginning to show on my face. pimples, small dots whatever they are, worry lines, frowns, eye bags, i guess i should just be thankful that i dont have acne.

how do you explain to the people around you including her that you react or act the way you do because you're so convinced everything is going to fall apart really soon.
and because of that conviction that time spent is limited, how can you tell everyone that you wish to spend almost every waking moment just for the few months because that's all you have.
how do you try to analyze and explain that very conviction when it sounds so baseless and ridiculous even to myself?

how how tell me how.

sometimes, i really dont understand myself. it's almost amazing how i am when i am with her, but it's even more astounding how capable i am in fucking things up for myself.

why why tell me why.