song recommendation of the day.

until i get over you- christina milian

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be, 'til I get over you

Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

------------------------------------------------------------------------
i tried to allow certain thoughts lately, not a confrontation but more of opening up to let them enter, and i realised that it's still way to difficult to handle.

maybe that's the trouble with me. i never really let go. i just carry on walking, stacking more things above my load, so that the previous stuff are just left underneath all the new.

i never threw them away, nor set them down. i just piled more and more things over.

and when i try to reach for the old, i find that it's too hard, because they're buried underneath. yet sitting down to sift through and pack is too much of a chore because it has reached a point where it'll invoke too many memories which i aint sure i can handle.

how did i let things reach such a stage? i dont know.

yup, in a quiet moment, thoughts abt her kinda wandered into my head, and i didnt push them away. not agressively anyway. but maybe i did it subconsciously, because after a while, they disappeared....

yet it still hurt.

see? what's the point?