just returned home from church, the session of miracle healing.
felt a little ashamed because this morning i was sulking away because i was reluctant to go -chose sleep over worship.
sheepish.
anyhow, i needed that spiritual uplifting. needed to be stirred from that half awaken stupour that i had sunken in.
and now im definitely jerked awake!
many went up to receive the compassion of christ today, due to emotional and physical problems or whatever other personal turbulence they were facing. it's been some time since i was surrounded by so much anguish, i almost wanted to cry myself. the desperation on some of their faces were so evident, the anguish in their cry for help....
some shivered, some were slain. others just wept quietly, others teared in silence. different body languages, different composures, all united in one aim - they needed His reassurance.
makes you wonder what drives people to such a state where they are completely helpless and the burden of loneliness they undertake.
all the whatever shit that's been going through my own mind recently vanished in that instant i set my eyes upon them. as wrong as this may turn out, sometimes you need a comparison to show you that your weight of your own problems are feathers compared to the tons of bricks these people have on their shoulders.
you learn to become a little more unselfish all over again.
can i admit something?
during the service, i found myself caught in the debate of the strength of the mind vs the existence of God. willpower vs divine intervention.
because i always wondered, do the cripple start to walk again because they believe that they will? or was he given God's embrace?
then i remembered this verse. cant remember its exact words but it was something like 'ask and it shall be given but you must believe and work for it too'
something like that anyway.
and it dawned on me that hey sailor, pray to god but row for the shore.
ive always loved that. shows that if you want something, He'll give it to you but you must have faith. so in answer to my question, i guess it's a balance of both.
so faith can waver, and your will can dampen.
but it's ok. it happens. we all have our spiritually down times.
try this. every night before you sleep, take the time to count your blessing. thank Him for your family, your friends, and most importantly, the gift of life He has given to you.
unburden to Him all your daily troubles and have a fruitful sleep.
because you're not alone. you're really not enough.
we're God's children. you're His kid. did you forget that?
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