it has succumbed to a quiet desperation for the need to be understood.
give me an explanation for me doing the things i do, and the thoughts that i think.

i feel like im in the middle of a cross junction, and each road looks long and winding.

and lonely.

i realise ultimately the only person you can depend on is yourself. when you're all messed up, the ironing is all up to you.
even when you cant comprehend yourself, it doesnt matter.

this is probably one of the rare times in my life when i'm actually in severe danger of ... for the life of me i dont know what.

sigh. i just dont know how to vocalise my ponderings anymore.

feel like ive been caught in a hurricane.

how is it ever possible to feel so many different emotions all at the same gawd damn time?
thank goodness for those moments of happiness and sanity.
thank goodness for friends who still love me. ( i love you yun!)

please dont mention or talk about it anymore. i cant run away if everyone keeps pulling me back.
let me fly ok?

even if i dont know the reasons myself, they are there.