dont you know? i am the king of self deception.

i kid myself all of the gawd-damn time.

in the olympic realist races, i am a helluva gold medalist. i dont even push reality away, -- i sprint, and in that superb performance, i am shouting 'eat my dust'.

i dont even know how i get away with things.

grow up jem. time to face responsibilities and start behaving like an adult.

i spit at that phrase, yet shudder in its presence.

in my defence, no, it's not that i want to submerge in eternal childhood--perish the thought!
and no, it's not an immature mentality at work here. -- i'll bash you up if you even thought about that! (yeah see so mature right. haha joke people joke)

actually, i dont even know what it is anymore. i try to blame it on my upcoming 21st as a horrifying signal that actions are gonna have consequences but i know that's just a pathetic excuse. i am looking forward it actually.

i guess it's just the new duties i have undertaken. like paying my own school fees cause i feel so guilty about my mum paying so much for me. :S
yup.. jem is trying to behave like a superhero here and failing rather dismally actually.

and you know how you sometimes get hit by phases where you think and you remember and you reflect and you analyse about anything and everything and nothing?
i just got whacked in the head with it!

on a happier note, i just signed up for private electric guitar lessons! yay!
because knowing classical guitar is such a far cry! plus i only know the basics.
so now i am going to learn to do all those cool stuff guitarists do with their fingers.

i am going to be the next led zepplin. *sticks nose in the air*

;p

have a good weekend.