stayed over at joey's hostel last night, hoping that a change of atmosphere would motivate me to do my work. and I did one full chapter! ok it's definitely minimal and to catch up I need to spur myself to cover more but it's a start! *sings* always look on the bright side of life..... da da... da da da da da da....

the last time joey stayed over my place, i woke up in the middle of the night to find her on the floor! no.. i did not kick her off.. she just felt i wasnt exactly the best zzz-ing partner..
therefore, i was a bit apprehensive about last night but surprise we both stayed in bed and had a pretty good sleep. only i was a bit cold at night but didnt hv the heart to pull the blanket away from here. (and the next morning she tells me that she was actually feeling hot )

21 is approaching soon..
sigh.. i dont deny i'm worried about my very existence in life.. especially erm.. sexual orientation! i just dont have that chemistry with guys.. i have guy friends but none of them come close to being called a good friend, let alone boyfriend material. just the thought of it.......
*cringes* haha
maybe the right guy hasnt come yet?
it's so easy to fall back on that excuse huh? i kinda guess it's overused.
so many have said that maybe i just dont open my heart because i feel the idea of me being with a guy is absurd. but no i beg to differ, i dont feel that way at all! i dont close my heart to someone just cause he's a guy.
and also, it's not cause i can relate better to girls blah blah blah.

it's a simple reason as... the feeling is just not there.

maybe i should just accept the possibility. but then, the implications are so burdensome...

oh well. let's leave it to Him.

ps: erm, jon ure the only family member that has access to my blog so shush about anything u read here ok? too private to have anything revealed to anyone called family... thanks!

CHANGE SUBJECT!

going to zouk later for CHIJLL@ZOUK event. it'll be interesting to see who turns up. i think the only time i really felt comfortable being myself was at IJ. After that, everything just seemed to go downhill. ok wait we're supposed to change the subject.

one night away from duey and i missed her!