what if you have to make that same promise continously because each time you dont keep to it, you have make it all over again.
how do u stop that chain?

by sheer force.

by literally physically breaking it.

what else is there to do.

the hardest things to do are the things we dont like to do. logic.

sometimes it isnt a matter of walking away. because in reality I never really will leave. i call it fading into the background.

and that has to do, for now.
or rather, that has to be done, for now.

you know, i've been through so many crazy stuff, went through so many experiences, have always prided on being the tough one.
but to certain things, people, whatever, gawd i'm as soft as......feathers.. ok.. well that's the first thing that came to my head. make that goose feathers. by the way, if you get your pillows or quilts or comforters, get them with goose feathers. you'll just want to stay in bed forever.

that's major digressing jem. yes yes.

i think i'm going crazy right now.
too many things are overwhelming and ive never felt displacement on such a scale as this before.
i shld throw myself into my studies, only prob is that it's one of the major issues that's givnig me this feeling.

but i thought to myself last night, ...you either sink or swim.
and since i have smartly ignored all the life jackets offered to me, it's up to me to swim the seemingly never-ending journey to shore.

shit happens. but you gotta do what you gotta do.