Sorry is just another lonely word...

I hate the word sorry. Because it has been given so freely, and it's a word that has been reduced to a state of casualness, that people just use that word so often, it takes more than a word to actually depict the remorse behind it.

The consequences behind the mistakes people make are sometimes heavy and regrettable enough to serve as one of the hard knocks of their life, which make them reflect on their own character, and resolve to improve. But as admirable as this is, the one deniable flaw is that sometimes when you make mistakes, you are not the only one who bears the brunt of it. And even though mistakes are a part of growing up, in that course of your own learning, someone else got hurt as well.

I dont deny I'm bitter.

If the person loves you, he should be able to help you through the learning. I say bullshit.
Especially when the improvement is a bare minimal, or you make the mistakes repeatedly.
Your actions point out that you dont really want to learn, or you want to learn only when you're not feeling upset, which just totally defeats its purpose.

I know I wasnt the perfect partner. I know I had my temper problem. But I actually did do something about it.

I chose to go. Because I couldnt stand being taken for granted anymore.

And yes, good for you that you are finally learning. But bad for me, because I helped you, I taught you,I gave so much, but I never saw my harvest. Some call it selfish. I call it bitter. I call it anger. I call it heartache. Cause it could have been me if you had just had a bit of foresight. And i cant stand the thought of you being a perfect girlfriend to someone else.

And you go out with some guy whom I dont even know who the bloody hell he is. And yes, I have no right anymore. But the difference between this typical situation is that I never forfeited that right on my own accord. I was forced to give it up.

Yes I read your blog. And yes it made me cry.

Finally it did. After controlling for so long.

But day after day, you continue to think how easy it is for me.

I did love you. And I do love you. And part of me wants to go back to how we were before. But the mistrust is too huge. There's lack of faith.

You hurt me.
And it really hurt.