Ups, downs, smiling frowns, This is just me.....
Control, stable, young and free.... I just want to be...

More Random thoughts....

An attempt to come home to myself.. to find my individuality among the mob, to understand actions and words, to slow down and ease up in intensity, to gain insight... valuable, priceless, but so easily given away

I must be myself before I can be another, to learn and study my feelings in depth. Adverse and extreme, I have been described. I can be so sweet, so patient, the Jem that was in existence before. But in its place is a mixture of both, but with an instability that throws me off balance and perhaps the ones around me.

People change and people move on. I cant return to who I was before, because changes and circumstances mould me into someone else. But I can and will be moulded to one that is similar to who I was, but will never be an exact replica, because there is no sense in living in the past, no sense in bringing the dead back to the present. The present brings with it new life, new love, and adaptability to this will be the souce that creates the moulding.

I just need a little bit of time.

On a lighter note.....
Jem's Update
had Joanne's surprise birthday dinner at Thai Express Esplanade outlet just now! *grin* Know you dont like surprises but was quite sure this one would have a different reaction~! haha Anyway, sorry had to tell white lies here and there.. and to keep you from being suspicious.. and sorry for instigating Ralph to steal Gerri's number! Ha.. but anyhow it was so great seeing the HPB colleagues again and laughing at old times! At my expense I may add. *grumbles * Haha But hey hope you had a blast~! See ya soon buddddddy.