Prayer for Day 11.
Dear Lord, please bring your peace and help me out of this.

Love is like an antique vase, hard to find, hard to get, easy to break. Pick up the pieces, cut your hands, wounds, scars. It's a vicious cycle. But love is definitely difficult to forget. And well.. love is... love.

Even as I type the prayer, I cant help but experience a throbbing doubt at the back of my head, something which I cannot comprehend even the slightest bit. I do not even know how to pen it down into words, the nagging uneasiness that started to grow, the reason unexplained, the source unknown.
I guess I am in one of those phases we go through in life where it suddenly strikes you that you do not really know what you want in life, whether it is relationships, educaton, or any other aspects of life. And I didnt see the strike coming.
It seems like when you do not want something, somehow you just cannot throw it away,it gets on your nerves, but when finally when it is gone, suddenly you just cant help but feel a tinge of loss. No jubilations, but more of mixed emotions between serenity, and the blue devils in the background. Sigh.

Spiralling thoughts which I cannot fathom, plauge me with their relentless pursuit of haunting and mocking> The suddeness of this finds me unprepared, and I feel as though the plug for my brain sink has been pulled, and all those thoughts are sucked away, leaving me dry, yet the remains of dirt stains.
I am fickle-minded, yet I know what I want. Contradiction. Again. If only life was straightforward, away from deliberation, decisions, self censure...
But I know I know.. the grass isnt always greener on the other side. Most of the time, the lushes are on your side, if only we could take the time to breathe in the fresh air.
I guess I'm just in one of my moods.. mixed emotions plus this and that... but I know where I am going.. kind of.. I just need to brace up, lift my chin and defiantly face those irritating thoughts which are dragging me down.
Random and objectless thoughts.
Man... what is wrong with me? Maybe I am pms-ing.
Arg.. what the hell. I shall just turn my back on everyone and trudge on this road with solitary strength.